Review of The Great Wall (2016) by Dick D — 20 Feb 2017
Alright cinematic's aside, this is the best interracial/interspecies romance that I've ever seen. The white man's ability to connect and be intimate with the wall and the chinks is truly spectacular. He goes and fights the flying chink lizards out of loyalty, honor, and love.
Other than that, this movie is trash. Not realistic at all. Turns out that the twist (SPOILER ALERT) is Matt Damon is an American child rapist who goes on the run to smoke some opium in SAN Francisco and pretend to fight the chink lizards on the China wall. Terrible film. I don't know anything about opium but when I smoked marajuana I used to get real nervous about the texture of my tongue and who was looking at me. There was no throwing spears through a swirling flame banner or no jumping off a mountain to common-deer a chink lizard. Matt Damon sucks and he ruined Interstellar BIG TIME. Matt Damon has ruined space, ruined zoos and now he has ruined PF Changs for me.
It's important to note that the drug addict girl who turns out to be a MAKE-beleeve lizard queen is smoking hot. Deserving of a full star. I'd pay for that China-woman's druggies to spend a couple nights with her. Props to you my yellow goddess. One star.
This review of The Great Wall (2016) was written by Dick D on 20 Feb 2017.
The Great Wall has generally received mixed reviews.
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