Review of The Great Wall (2016) by Brian C — 08 Mar 2017

Proper Perspective: Chinese warriors in Power Rangers outfits battling fake beasts with Private Ryan in a story that was made for I don't know who and I am still trying to figure out how and why this movie was made...

Official Synopsis: European mercenaries searching for black powder become embroiled in the defense of the Great Wall of China against a horde of monstrous creatures.

Plot: William (Matt Damon) and Tovar (Pedro Pascal) are in search of "the black powder," a new weapon from the east. Upon arrival, they find out that The Great Wall of China was built to keep out not only the enemies we know, but other beasts warded off by a secret army trained only to battle these beasts.

Take: There is not really anything redeeming about this movie. It is lauded as a visual masterpiece and a visionary piece of art, but does not even warrant that praise.

It is unfair to call any CGI "bad CGI," but there is subpar CGI and The Great Wall is one of those movies with subpar CGI. From the opening shot of the wall itself to the beasts and the battles themselves, the CGI and animation is better than 90% of movies, but is still lacking. The design of the beasts was unique (to me) and interesting. Beyond that there is nothing special about the movie overall.

The acting was wooden from Damon, Pascal, William Dafoe, and the Chinese Army Commanders (Hanyu Zhang, Kenny Lin, Eddie Peng, and Tian Jing).

The story is pieces of a few different movies and is not unique in any way.

They wedge in a forced "romance" with the only female character and Damon. The two friends fight, part ways, and then come back together. There is infinity beasts and soldiers to fight them. No sense of scale or who has an upper hand in the fight. There are ex-machina's left, right, right, left, left, and right again. There was a dope wall saw that they broke out one time that in hindsight would have been a weapon you open the fight with. Why do movies do that? Pretend that this is a video game with levels and not just using your best movies out of the gates. Come on, movies.

If you are this far into the review, you get the point.

Recommendation: No thanks. Maybe this was made for an audience that does not include me. I love movies about other cultures and seeing the talents of others and I get why they used Damon, but the execution was not there. Go see John Wick 2 again or Logan again...

At the beginning of the movie, no shit, Damon's character actually says, "I've been left for dead twice before." Seriously man, seriously.