Review of The Great Wall (2016) by Kevin H — 16 May 2017

M'eh....

Elite Ancient Chinese Army gets slaughtered, American rebel man with occasional irish accent shows them how to use a bow and arrow.

Wall armed with giant Game of Thrones style blades and rocket grenades,, army doesn't use them because they can instead throw the women over on ropes with a pointy stick each, lots of women die.

Enemy which has already breached the wall spots an American and retreats.

Generals aimlessly walk onto the front line to what is obviously a trap, obviously die.

Chinese woman that can't just be hard but has to be a potential love interest is promoted and introduced to whaling, american man now becomes chief strategy advisor.

Nervous chinese man gets demoted to washing bowls for dropping a bowl, to handle lots of bowls while still wearing a full suit of armor.

End of the world as we know it happens because not one person was actually checking the wall for issues or tunnels, but killing the queen with a magnet and a firework causes all the droids to shutdown and stop attacking.

Credits.