Review of The Great Wall (2016) by Jason L — 24 Feb 2018

A couple points real quick: For those asking why Matt Damon is in this movie, it's because you don't know how to market a movie overseas. This shallow, senseless flick raked in $182 million before it even opened in the states. So there's that. {This is the same reason Interstellar injected a "China saves the day" narrative. This creative marketing stunt has the Chinese market total for Interstellar to over $100 millies and counting.}.

Now William Dafoe? He didn't need to be here. Poor guy.

Now to the movie: As the end nears, you'll get a sense that all the questions you had from the start of the film are NOT going to be answered. Is this a dystopian future? Is this the past (It is apparently supposed to be set 1,000 years ago)? Where did these monsters come from, REALLY? Why do they show up only every 60 years? Why did they show up early this time? Is obvious trap not obvious? Why are they only after Chinese people? How did you defend China before this wall was built (they've apparently been fighting the monsters already for 2,000 years before this movie)? Did they think we would notice that the wall is inaccurately tall (by a factor of 4 at least)? Who da eff is Damon's character and what the eff accent is he attempting? And probably more.

This movie reminded of Water World in many ways.... except Water World had more character/plot development. Ugh. Well, it'll make money so I guess good the the investors. I recommend watching it on a plane if you are so inclined to check out this U.S.-Chinese collaboration.