Review of The Grand (2007) by Kazz L — 25 Apr 2008

I normally dont review movies in detail, but i'll make an exception this time, mainly because I was really looking forward to this film, and it really dissapointed me. it combined two things I love, texas hold em' and mockumentaries. and the cast was awesome, a dozen veterans of the mock genre. but sadly, this film is a pale comparison to the classic mock's such as SPINAL TAP or WAITING FOR GUFFMAN.

The story is aparently all improvised, involving a high stakes poker tournament, the winner of which will recieve 10 million dollars. naturally, the cast is comprised of several wacky characters.

The central character is played by woody harrleson. he plays a riduclous sterotype of an edgy, wild living man. he's been married 74 times and brags about all the drugs he's done, the list of which could kill a bull elephant. he's really the only character we have any emotional investment in, as he's entering the tournament to save his grandfather's casino, which he drunkenly sold to a big buisness mogul (a hilarious michael mckean, who's a veteran of these type of films). the other central characters are david cross and cheryl hines as a brother and sister who are constantly competing thanks to their overly dominerring father (gabe mutherfucking kaplan!!). cross plays his usual jerk role, occasionally showing up in wacky costumes like a burka and a suit of armour for no reason other than it looks funny I guess. hines more or less plays the straight woman to three funny men (cross, kaplan and ray romano as her obsessivly nerdy husband). dennis farina plays an old timer who has lots of not very funny lines about the good old days in vegas, while riding a rascal around everywhere despite the fact he can walk, because, I guess that's supposed to be funny. its a shame farina isn't really given anything funny to do or say, because he's a very funny actor (re-watch get shorty if you don't believe me). spin city's richard kind (who has the BIGGEST mouth i've evr seen), plays the newcomer who stumbled onto party poker. net and ended up winning a seat in the final table. kind plays the role well, up until the end, when a twist is revealed that basically ruins his entire character. the best performance by far is snl's chris parnell, who plays a genuis savant suffering from asperger's syndrome (which more or less is a mental disease that turns you into a giant douchebag). parnell is hilarious, blantantly calling everyone's short coming's, insulting his mother to her face, and reciting passages from the book "dune" verbatim. he really steals the show, with a funny believable performance.

Oh, and then there's "the german" played by acclaimed documentary filmaker werner herzog, who walks around looking menacing and has a ritual wherin he kills a small animal before each game.

It all builds up to the final game, which supposedly was a real poker game with the winner and outcome totally up in the air. the main problem is that the denoumant is more or less just that, a poker game. nothing really funny or relevant happens, and the winner ends up being the one with the least to gain from the whole thing.

The real problem I had with this flick is the amazing supporting cast of exceptionally funny people...who are giving absolutely nothing funny to do or say. jason alexander and hank azaria are completely wasted. brett ratner!!! has a very unfunny part as a player who tries to throw people off by talking about how his whole family has cancer, which could be funny, however, ratner has no comedic timing. shannon elizabeth and mike epps each have one line between them, which depending on your opinon on them, might be a good thing, but it begs the question, why cast them in the first place??

Overall, the grand is all over the place. the best mockumentaries still had legible stories behind them, with charcters we could get behind and feel something for. all the grand has is a bunch of stereotypes trapped in a plot that's not sure where it's going. it might be a decent rental if your into poker, but not much else.