Review of The Girl with All the Gifts (2016) by Meritcoba — 04 Jun 2019

It is hilarious to compare the pretentious prattle of Clayton Dillard(Slantmagazine) dishing this one a 38 out of 100 to Helen O'Hara(Empire) who lauds it with an astonishing 100 out of 100. Dillard spots a lack of precision in the geometrically conceived stylization and feels it is a let down compared to Resident Evil: Retribution and Children of Men. I kid you not. If you happen to feel that this movie doesn't stand up to Alien(s), Blade Runner and Jurassic Park due to the egregious lack of a captivating comparative social narrative you are totally valid in that assessment. Just remember that pretentiousness demands the combination of at least three important sounding words, bonus points for adding more(I got four).

O'Hara in turn praises not only the acting skills of the kid wonder but predicts that it’s the dense social commentary(note: three words) and moral dilemmas that will haunt you. A denseness that will haunt you? I know it will...

I wonder who is on a trip further away from reality? And did they snort the same pods?

In any event.. for those who live closer to the real world: it is an zombie flick in which the zombies are called hungries as to deceive you into thinking that these flesh eating dead aren't zombies. This time it isn't a virus, but a fungus. Not that it matters: it works the same way: get bitten and you become one. Further stuff we might have seen before. Mad Scientist(capitals as it is a trope), played by Glenn Close, who thinks she can save the world by using infected kids as ingredients for her cure. An infected kid who is jolly polite and eats cats(the latter amounts to the greatest sin of all according to my daughters). An accidental hero(ine) who thwarts the Mad Scientist. Doomed soldiers who are there to die(obviously). A military base that gets overrun(cause zombies win from machineguns, flamethrowers, rockets and nukes hands down every time). And Important Words.

As extra you will see the kids from Beyond the Thunderdome as smart zombies hunt down one of hapless soldiers. Then they get put in their place when the jolly kid defeats their leader in a truly atrocious kids fight. Do they ever learn? In between stuff happening the band of hapless survivors talk about stuff. Feelings, their spouses and siblings and the end of the world. It must be that dense social commentary I missed. Well, I didn't actually, but I did.

It's a decent flick.. but it cannot be held against you when you think it a dime in a dozen. Cause frankly.. it is all it is. The acting is at least okay even though nothing remarkable comes from it. Let me favor it with a six cause it is Tuesday.