Review of The Expendables 3 (2014) by Justin C — 03 Jan 2015

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Mel Gibson, Antonio Banderas, and Jason Statham.

Directed By: Patrick Hughes.

Written By: Sylvester Stallone, Creighton Rothenberger, and Katrin Benedikt.

Rated: PG-13.

When a foe he thought was dead ends up wounding members of his team on a mission, Barney decides to retire the old Expendables for their own safety. He forms a newer, younger team to go after Stonehouse, his resurfaced enemy. When his new team ends up captured, it's up to Barney to save them to fix his mistake.

I can say that before this, I liked about 50% of The Expendables movies. The first was okay, but took itself too seriously. The second one was fun and had a good mix of action and one-liners. It was a decent series and I was looking forward to another fun action movie. Initially Nicolas Cage was rumored to be cast, so my excitement was a little bit high until I found out he wasn't actually cast. Upon getting over that disappointment, I decided to still give it a shot. The movie though, ended up failing to deliver on almost all fronts.

Apparently the novelty of seeing all these old dogs still holding their own in an action film had worn off, so the writers decided to bring in some more young blood (because that worked out so well for Liam Hemsworth's character in the last one). Too bad they have zero personality and are barely flushed out characters. The worst would be Ronda Rousey's character, Luna. For some reason her character dislikes men. Maybe because she has to beat them up all the time during her night job as a bouncer? Do all strong women just have to hate men? Who knows. It's a disdain that comes and goes so it's not a very important trait. Rousey doesn't do very well with her poorly written character anyway, delivering almost every line with the same indifference as the last. Victor Ortiz's character is even more forgettable. Other than a proficiency with a shotgun, I don't remember a thing about him. An attempt is made at developing Kellan Lutz's character, but his backstory is null and he ends up changing little from when he is introduced to when the movie ends. He sure can ride that motorcycle that conveniently shows up well though, can't he?

The only one I'd say did a decent job would be Glenn Powell. He reminded me of Chris Evan's earlier work when he wasn't playing quite so serious of characters. He managed to have a memorable personality and came off as actually having a fun time.

Now not all the new additions are poorly written/acted. Kelsey Grammar adds some class to the cast and Antonio Banderas' Jar Jar Binks-like character is one of the few enjoyable performances. Mel Gibson is sadly an actor who has lost his way, but is slowly making his way back. Following his fun turn as the villain in Machete Kills, he's back to do a slightly toned down, but no less grin inducing, version. He's another stand out in a dull film.

Harrison Ford is hit or miss. Sometimes he's got that Indiana Jones air about him, and then other times he's a little too wooden.

The returning cast members don't do much to make up for the poor new ones, because, with the exception of Stallone, we end up seeing them fairly little. Which is a shame because the chemistry between Statham, Couture, Crewes, Lundgren, and Stallone are what made the previous movies enjoyable and at times, bearable.

The one liners are pretty bad with a couple of good ones mixed in. Arnold's dialogue boils down to "Remember that one line he said in that other movie he was in? Well here it is again, only in different context! Isn't that cool?".

The big shoot out in the end is filmed well and catches all the action and fights. It's just nothing really new and most of the characters stand out as much as the random henchmen they are mowing down so why should you care? If you absolutely have to see this, but for some reason haven't yet, wait a bit longer for it to come out on DVD and rent it. Otherwise pass on it, because The Expendables have become the forgettables.

4 Reels Out of 10.

"He's got a point, sometimes I don't understand what you're saying.".

"Looks who talking.".