Review of The Expendables (2000) by Kevin D — 16 Sep 2012

They don't make 'em like this anymore! This is the best 80's action movie to not be released in the 80's. This is the movie equivalent of the Miami Heat, only more likable. This movie served its purpose, just like Bethany in Dogma: it was a balls to the walls, testosterone fueled action junkie's wet dream. This is the epitome of guy movies. There is no way you cannot like this movie. Sylvester Stallone got a bunch of his buddies together and basically said, "Let's get a bunch of rough neck dudes and break bones and shed gore in a kick ass movie." The guys delivered the goods.

The story has been done before, but here it's just plain cool. It follows a bunch of guys on a mission: Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, and Dolph Lundgren are a mercenary squad and they go after Eric Roberts (who is actually Julia Roberts' brother. They actually competed at the box office this weekend.) and Stone Cold Steve Austin, who run a big time drug cartel. The movie is filled to the brim with explosions, decapitations, broken bones, bare knuckled fights, and blood.

The movie is entertaining as hell and it will fly by in 3 seconds. The movie is also insanely entertaining and hilarious. The lines are funny and offer that Tarantino type feeling where some parts of the discussion end up becoming relevantly funny at later moments in the film. The moment I realized this movie was great was when Stallone and Li were being chased by some traitors in a hectic car chase. Li climbed out of the car, hid in the back of the pickup truck and engaged the enemies with a sub machine gun. Stallone directed the movie in intense fashion. His direction worked a lot better here than it did in that last Rambo movie. At times the action gets confusing since the editing is quick and we don't know who is who, but it makes it feel like the viewer is in on the action.

Don't expect any character back story or development, although Mickey Rourke and Stallone have a nice heart to heart, but each character offers likable charms and idiosyncrasies. The Expendables is a movie that will have you heavily involved, clapping at the action, and rolling on the ground in laughter. This is a great guy movie that offers a classic rock soundtrack, throwback action scenes, and a killer cast. The scene with Bruce Willis, the Governator, and Stallone was this movie's diner scene from Heat with De Niro and Pacino. This is a must see action comedy that is sure to be a blast from start to finish and it will leave you with a smile on your face.

The guys who made this movie should be proud of the final product: it is a well made tribute to action movies and stars from years past.