Review of The Expendables 2 (2012) by Andy G — 27 Mar 2014

Before I say anything about "The Expandables 2" let me briefly talk about the first one.

Simple but great premise. Get as many great action stars together for a nonstop shoot 'em up. Sounds great, and it should have been but ...

The first Expandables was a very disappointing movie. Great cast, a few missing people plus one or two that didn't need to be there. We have Stallone directing who can definitely do action. "Rambo" was great. The main problem was the uneven pacing and large amount of down time, mixed with either missing or half finished character development.

In a movie like Expendables you don't need that much character development. But when they try to develop a character they don't fully formulate the character it ends up being a waste of time. The whole ending segment at the castle like place was what the rest of the movie should have been like. The end hit the mark while the rest of the film kind of missed it. We have great gun play, cool fighting, and best of all Terry Crews and his amazing gun.

I was really surprised to see that most reviewers liked the first Expendables. Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger cameo in the movie and are in a single scene together with Stallone. For most critics just having them all in a room together was enough, but not for me. Willis and Schwarzenegger never even do any action. The first one was not really bad in any way, just very, very disappointing.

Now for the Expendables 2.

This one was a hell of a lot better. Much more action and much less down time.

Let's go over the expendables themselves.

We have (in order of billing).

1. Sylvester Stallone.

+ Leader of the group.

+ Classic action star.

+ Pistol expert.

- named "Barney" I can't take anyone named Barney seriously.

2. Jason Statham.

+ Second in command under Stallone (Which I find strange since is a less experienced actor than most some other expendables.).

+ Going to be a classic action star.

+ Throwing knife expert (not used as much as in the first movie.).

- some very cheesy lines but he makes most of them work.

3. Jet Li.

+ Classic martial artist.

+hand to hand expert.

- is only in the first ten minutes of the movie.

- Goatee (Off putting. Made me think of Gomez from "Breaking Bad").

4. Dolph Lundren.

+ Has some of the funniest lines in the movie.

- former bad guy.

+ current good guy.

5. Terry Crews.

+ Old Spice power.

+ best gun in both films.

- loses gun after a few minutes.

6. Randy Couture.

- No purpose in the expendables.

- The one person who should be cut.

7. Liam Hemsworth.

- purpose is to die and provide revenge angle.

-+ pretty much the same sniper character from "Rambo".

We also have Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger in larger roles and they actually do action this time. Now that Schwarzenegger isn't governor he is doing action movies again. His next one after Expendables is already on the way.

There is a woman who joins the Expendables, but she is not actually "One of the expendables". The only women I think could hang with the Expendables are.

1.Zoe Bell.

-death Proof.

2. Rose McGowan.

-Planet Terror.

The villain is played by Jean Claude Van Damme. He does great. His trademarks were kicking and doing splits. He doesn't do any splits but he does roundhouse kick a knife into a guy's chest so I think he compensated just fine.

Of course Chuck Norris is in the movie. He actually tells a Chuck Norris joke, which actually isn't the first time. His part is slightly more than a cameo. He does do action even if most of it happens off-screen. But he is Chuck F*CKING NORRIS!

The movie is very funny too. lots of cheesy one liners and throw backs to previous movies they've done.

The action is great and there is plenty of it. Brutal and bloody.

People who should be added to Expendables 3.

1. Jackie Chan (He is retiring from action so that won't be happening.).

-First Strike.

-Police Story.

-Rumble in the Bronx.

-Drunken Master.

-etc He's Jackie f*cking Chan.

2. Clive Owen.

-Sin City.

-The one good scene from The International.

-Shoot 'em Up.

3. Antonio Banderas.

-Desperado.

-Once upon a Time in Mexico.

4. Danny Trejo.

-Machete.

-Desperado.

-From Dusk Till Dawn.

5. Tom Savini.

-From Dusk Till Dawn.

-Dawn of the Dead.

-Grindhouse.

-Machete.

6. Liam Neeson.

-Taken.

-Batman Begins.

-The Grey.

7. Clint Eastwood.

-Dirty Harry.

-The Good the Bad and the Ugly.

8. Kurt Russel.

-Escape From New York.

-Death Proof.

-The Thing.

9. Fred "The Hammer" Williams.

-From Dusk Till Dawn.

-Black Caesar.

10. Chow Yun Fat.

-Hard Boiled.

-The Killer.

-Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

And now for the people who absolutely should not be affiliated in any way with the Expendables 3.

(People I could see being considered but would ruin the film.).

1. Dwayne "The Rock" Johson.

2. John Cena (Or any other wrestler for that matter).

3. Channing Tatum.

4. Tom Cruise.

5. Steven Seagal.

6. Nicholas Cage.

7. Cuba Gooding jr.

8. Collin Ferrell.

9. Vince Vaughn.

10. Ice Cube.