Review of The Emoji Movie (2017) by Nerdconsultant — 06 Sep 2017

Let me just say this right now, The Emoji Movie is A DUMPSTER FIRE OF A FILM THAT I NEVER WANT TO SEE EVER AGAIN, and if I ever find any parents that took their kids to see that film, I am going to say that how they turn out is your fault now!!!

The Emoji Movie is not a movie, it’s an advert. I am not even kidding, the plot, if you can call it that is interrupted constantly for adverts for products such as Drop Box, Twitter, YouTube and even the Just Dance game. I am not even joking, for no reason, the plot is interrupted for an advert for a mobile version of Just Dance. Everyone in this movie is terrible, they are all giving awful performances, including smug performances from Anna Faris, T J Miller, especially James Corden, who seems to be in every terrible animated film I am watching at the minute, playing the exact same role every time and in this film, he is incredibly annoying. The jokes are never funny, the animation is obnoxious and there is no real message to it whatsoever. Kind of ironic considering it’s a movie about emoji’s. This is one of the most cynical things I have ever seen aimed at children and the fact that this film is aimed at children is the most disgusting part of it. The film also has no original idea whatsoever, ripping off other more successful family films constantly, especially Inside Out, Wreck it Ralph and Toy Story, doing it in a way that required no effort at all. You will want to slap some dignity into Patrick Stewart for playing the pooper emoji and I would like to point out the opening credits say Sir Patrick Stewart, Robbie Collins summed it up better in saying the opening credits might as well have said “yes, we have ruined this man’s career”. Everything about it is everything I despise about cinema: no effort, product based placement throughout the Wazoo, no originality, mugging actors constantly giving off the impression that they know what they are in is terrible but they don’t care as they got an easy pay check and an attitude of “that’s good enough for them”, which cinema should never have!! Before you say anything, the opposite is just as bad, I hate films that go “if you don’t get it you are obviously an idiot”. So don’t accuse me of being elitist for my opinions on this film. It’s just crap and anything in the comments section for this review that have any emoji’s in are getting deleted instantly. I am sick of them now and if I ever see a copy of this film, I am going to set it on fire.