Review of The Emoji Movie (2017) by Mr-Human-Guy — 02 Aug 2017

When I was a young boy, my father told me, son... One day, a movie will come out in the future that will change the world for the better, a movie that will change the fabric of our society for the better, a movie that will end world hunger, stop terrorism and end the useless hate between the races of man and bring in the dawn of the next evolution of our species.

I always thought he was a crazy old man until today... Until the day I watched the Emoji movie, you see, the Emoji movie is one of the greatest movie ever made and I will tell you why. Not even a single second after leaving the theater, my son was cured of his homosexuality, touting how much he wants to **** that blue haired emoji", I was so proud of him, my dog Rover who had two limp legs started walking on fours for the first time in 10 years. The elderly couple were so engrossed in the movie, I hear that they are still there as I write this, sitting in their seats, how nice! The political satire was so accurate in fact that a police officer stood up and shouted "I see the error of my ways! No longer will I shoot African Americans!" which was nice, in fact it was so accurate that the white house LITERALLY exploded causing a power outage on the entire east coast of America, causing families to finally reconnect with each other and grow as people. In summation go and watch The Emoji Movie, it will make you a better person and is totally not trash advertising at all and if you think that, you're wrong, you are dumb and you are a traitor to our species and should be executed.