Review of The Emoji Movie (2017) by Mildred F — 29 Jul 2017

July 28th, opening night of the emoji movie, the only day worth remembering in the history of the world. When your children ask where you were on that fateful day, the day that the pinnacle of film-"meh"king was reached, what will you tell them?

I will be able to stand tall and proud as I describe to them the pure joy that I felt as the first few seconds of this "meh"sterpiece graced my eyes. My squad fam and I witnessed the emoji movie's birth together, fidget spinners whirring in our trembling hands whilst Gene and his crew braved the perilous pixels of young Alex's phone. We smiled at the clever and well thought out jokes, tried not to cry as Broom chanted his pitiful lines, and nodded in fervent agreement to Jailbreak's utter smASHing of the patriarchy. You go girl, you go.

"Meh"ving on to the ro"meh"ntical aspect, "meh"ke sure you bring your uncooked vegetables, because things are about to get stea"meh"y ;) Jailbreak and Gene are the couple of the century. "Meh"ve over Romeo and Juliet, Genebreak is the hot new couple that EVERyone is swooning over. So "meh"ny sparks were flying between them that all the unpopped kernels in the bottom of my fellow moviegoer's popcorn popped simutaniously, bringing to "meh"nd the applause that this "meh"vie so completely deserves. I could literally go on forever about how much I love this "meh"vie, but the next showing starts in five "meh"nutes, and I am not willing to risk "meh"ssing out on the first five seconds of film. You truly cannot catch everything this film has to offer on your first viewing, I am still catching delightful easter eggs on my fifth go-around, and have no intention of leaving this theatre until they re"meh"ve me forcibly. This Emojiac signing off, - An extremely satisfied consu"meh"r.