Review of The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) by Randall B — 10 Jun 2010

Jessica Simpson. Car races. Willie Nelson. Jessica Simpson. I'm sorry was there a movie in there? Who cares? I finally learned how to work the zoom and slow motion. And let me tell you, I got me a good dvd player.

Actually the first time I watched Jay Chandesk....'s Dukes of Hazzard was on a date, so I of course had to watch the movie. Jay Chandesk...... is part of the comedy troup known as Broken Lizards, the creators of the hilarious Super Troopers and awful Club Dread. There were some moments of hilarity, but the plot was a bit thinned out and well kinda dumb. That would've been good if it was just some dumb comedy about rednecks and cars, but they had to apply the Dukes of Hazzard name on to it. Why?! Why?! I am angry! I am using exclamations!

Here's the movie story as I remember it. Bo (Jackass star Johnny Knoxville) and Luke (jackass star Sean William Scott) Duke got them a really nice 1969 Dodge Charger called the General Lee, which they use to deliver moonshine across Hazzard County. The hooch is destilled by their uncle Jesse (the red haired stranger, Willie Nelson) and cousin Daisy (sister of Ashley, Jessica Simpson), who works at a bar and beats up on men who oogle her lack of clothing. Hazzard county commissioner Jefferson Davis "Boss" Hogg (Burt Reynolds) uses his tools of manipulation, both Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane ( M.C. Gainey, the guy who shows his nads in Sideways and made me vomit) and an upcoming town car race to trick the people of Hazzard County into missing a county vote on making Hazzard into a coal mining site. Its really doesn't matter what the plo was, as similiar to the show this is just a "vehicle" to watch cars race.

It does have the whole Dukes of Hazzard feel to it. Short story, small plot, bad guy get tricked in the end. The problem is that each episode lasted like twenty five minutes including commercials, and this is a feature length film over an hour and a half. And you can feel its wasted time. All the useless bits, like the trip to Atlanta in search of a guy to tell them they got coal in a tube. I like, no love, looking at breasts and the chase on the highway was top notch, but it really felt like wasted time. During this time, there's also a scene which is a take on the first minutes of Super Troopers which is classic, but was useless as it wasn't involved in the story at all or even funny. It felt that Broken Lizards were trying to come up with five more minutes of film to breach that hour and a half marker and figured, hey lets be completely uncreative and use our own joke from another movie. Sham on you Jay Chandes....

Then you have the characters. The beauty of the TV show lied in the fact that Bo (Tom Wopat) and Luke (John Schnieder) weren't idiots, but just good old boys not doing no harm, just trying to get around the law to moonshine, which was a subject that kinda fell out of the film. Wopat and Schnieder worked so well together that they felt like a singular protagnist throughout the show, with the exception of season 5 when they had pay disputes and were replaced for a short time by Duke cousins Coy (Byron Cherry) and Vance (Christopher Mayer). In the movie Knoxville and Stifler are idiots, and I don't even know why Knoxville was in it. His character couldn't drive, and really provided no real "drive" for the film's plot. He didn't even get hurt, kicked in the nuts or nothing.

Then there's the TV Daisy (the delicious Catherine Bach). She was smoking, yet intelligent and creative, and actually used more than her ass to outwit Hogg and others. The first time we see Daisy in the movie, she's showing how she doesn't like to be regarded as a set of legs, yet for the rest of the movie she's using her body to get men to do things. I mean it worked for me, I actually finished the movie, but its the principle I think.

Reynolds as "Boss" Hogg was alright, but couldn't hold a stick shift to Sorrell Booke. Reynolds came across as just evil, as Booke's character always seemed to be just trying to get the best deal. And Booke was funny. Reynolds is about as funny as really good pornography. Sorry I'm still thinking of them legs. I like Reynolds, and hope for the best. Boogie Nights was good, but he just ain't Gator anymore. M.C. Gaines, whose been every guilty-pleasure crap movie from Con Air to Leap of Faith, as Roscoe P. Coltrane was imposing and threateningn but completely different than the TV's James Best. Best was perfect in the role and a fantastic actor whose early roles in such classic shows like Andy Griffith and Have Gun, Will Travel always had him with a guitar in hand. I hate to talk bad about Gaines, because he looks like half the patrons of any truck stop in Georgia, but he really had no real point but to look aggressive. In comparison Best was the "best" reason to watch the show, and anything but intimidating.

Now let's hear the good. Willie played Uncle Jesse Duke well, though more as a prop really than a character, which isn't much different than TV's Jesse played by Denver Pyle. But as a fan of both Nelson and Pyle, also known as the patriarch Brisco Darling from The Andy Griffith Show, I enjoyed just having them in the movie. I don't know why Willie told all those jokes, some funny some not, but what he does to that apple is genius. Pure genius. Underrated weirdo David Koechner is great as Cooter, adding a bit more humor to the sly mechanic previously potrayed by Ben Jones.

Overall this is a stupid movie with stupid jokes that almost blinds the good stuff. The plot is secondary, as most plots on the tv show were. But the car chases mixed with Simpson in scanty get ups will help keep your interest, though it unfortunately doesn't make me want to run out and start moonshining anytime soon. Skip this one, buy Season 1 of the TV show, and download one of Jessica Simpsons' videos instead. You'll get more satisfaction, and it'll last longer. I would give it a 4, but I'm giving it a 40 due to my respect for Willie Nelson.