Review of The Descendants (2011) by Mark W — 05 Feb 2015

Cranky Old Cuckold.

Wow! Is this movie ever overrated! More so even than "Sideways". Let's see, a dying wife in a coma and a guilt-ridden mostly-absent husband isn't all that emotionally arresting until we find out she was a cheat. OMG, she had an affair! Another man! Alert the Pope, now we've got a story to tell! A tragic, fatal boating accident is one thing, but adultery is what really motivates the husband and his side-kick daughter to play detectives and find out who the wife was cheating with. That's the real story. That's what we really need to know. Pull the plug on the wench for all we care now. Uncovering the secret affair is all that matters. And of course the culprit she was having ungodly sex with was just using her so he could score some real-estate commission. So, in the end, not only does the wholesome, upstanding husband confront the loathsome adulterer, and develop into a perfect parent, but he also ends up saving pristine property in Hawaii from being exploited. What a guy! How does this self-righteous crap get a perfect score from so many critics. I'll give it a 6, max, and only for it's steady pacing and a solid performance from Shailene Woodley.