Review of The Dead Don't Die (2019) by Adegh — 28 May 2022

This film was, without any exaggeration, among the worst movies I’ve seen in my whole life. But first let’s talk about what The Dead don’t die did well : the special effects, environments and makeup was actually well done. Now that the good side is covered let’s go over why I now am as hollow as a shell and how a simple movie managed single-handedly to do that to me.

The plot felt like it never did go anywhere, the humour (if you could even call it that) was beyond stale, the script as boring as watching a grandma going up the stairs of a skyscraper. I feel like I lost precious hours of my life just to experience the fever dream of a terminally ill patient. This just reminded me of all these rich people pretending to faint at the sight of a totally white painting in an art galleria, this movie tries so hard to be different like it wants us to think we’re too dumb for it. If it was actually all a joke then it wasn’t funny, if it wasn’t please tell me there was some sort of blackmailing involved when the actors read the script and all agreed to be a part of this disaster. The fact money went into this project is a lack of respect to the materials that went into making these dollar bills. But what could be added to a movie already crippled by the cringiest 4th wall breaking i’ve ever seen, the most unfunny jokes ever uttered in the short history of homo sapiens, the worst use of the fantastic cast it mindblowingly got and could ever make and unnecessary scenes which all seem like they’re just here to fill the atrocious void this movie will make into your psyche you might ask ? An ending so bizarre and unfunny it makes your skin crawl of course ! Like a final spit to your face , just to remind you actually paid one way or another to lose life expectancy over this nightmare. Please spare your mind this torture, don’t watch this film.