Review of The Dark Tower (2017) by Lee H — 23 Aug 2017

The Dark Tower.

?? (Utter, utter, bollocks).

I haven't read the Steven King books that this film is based on, but I'm pretty sure this film will be a big disappointment for those that have. It's a complete mess of a film that feels like it's had about 45 minutes of important scenes taken out, as it makes little to no sense whatsoever. Nothing flows and you're just expected to know what is going on as they jump between worlds and talk about the 'shine' and the 'dark tower' like it's meant to mean something to you. For a 95 minute film it's also surprisingly boring, with poorly conceived action scenes and very dull hammy dialogue. Idris Elba does his best, but there's not much to work with, so his character falls pretty flat. Matthew McConaughey is awful as the big bad and just comes off as camp/smarmy and not threatening in any way at all. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that it's a massive pile of wank and should be avoided. ?? 1 star out of 5.

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