Review of The Dark Tower (2017) by Liz R — 02 Aug 2017

Is this a five star rating like the five stars I would give to Shawshank? (Which reminds me, keep a sharp eye open for quick Stephen King references throughout the movie.) No, definitely not. Is it a five star rating in response to an enjoyable 90 minutes that's being - in my opinion - unfairly maligned? Absolutely. That being said, I don't see movies based on critics' reviews, rarely even at the behest of friends. I see what interests me, and I advise you do the same.

While watching it, I was reminded of a Jean Kerr title: "The Snake Has All the Best Lines." Matthew McConaughey's delightfully flat strange line readings made me - sorry - root for The Man in Black. Idris Elba's mournfully stoic Gunslinger only comes alive about half through the movie, but when he starts loading his guns, his character takes shape. As for Tom Taylor, I'm not big on child actors, but he gives a more than serviceable performance in a part that ties The Man in Black and the Gunslinger together.

The dialogue could have been better. It's painfully pedestrian at times, but there are some good lines and several moments of sly understated humor.

I haven't read the book (books?), so I'll give way to disappointed fans who have. I've been disappointed by several King adaptations, so I know how that feels. On the whole, not even sure most of his books can be adapted successfully. However, as a standalone piece of fun, it works as well as similar movies, and I do not understand the almost vicious critical response.

Does it always make sense? No, but show me a movie of this type that does. Does it take about forty minutes to hit its stride? Yes. Are the effects frequently low rent? You got it. Will it win an AA? No. Will it be shown on some future incarnation of Mystery Science Theatre? No. Will it go down in infamy with Howard the Duck? No way.

Am I sorry I spend money on a full price evening ticket to see it? Not at all.