Review of The Country Bears (2002) by Eli B — 25 Apr 2004

[b]PLOT SUMMARY[/b].

Enter Beary.

Beary is... a bear.

His family are humans.

He asks them if he's adopted.

Now, I expected them to go 'Really, no shit? What made you come to that genius conclusion?!', but...

"What makes you think that honey? (No pun intended)".

Beary replies "Because Zack doesn't look like me. He has freckles and I don't and his eyes are blue, mine are brown".

He's serious.

Let's just recap: His family are human beings. He's a bear.

So anyway, they tell him he isn't (LIARS).

Then Zack, the one with the only common sense in the movie tells him he is when the parents aren't around.

Beary runs away and mets the Country Bears, a band he has an unhealthy obsession with.

[b]END PLOT SUMMARY[/b].

This movie is so bad, don't watch it. The bears are annoying, the plot is stupid, the idea is stupid, whoever actually paid $7 to see it is stupid (I saw it on the Disney channel), the whole damn movie is stupid.

Walt Disney is spinning in his grave so damn much right now.