Review of The Counselor (2013) by Joel M — 22 Mar 2014

"The Counselor" was misguided in so many different ways that it needed some major counseling in effective filmmaking, very pronto!!! Director Ridley Scott, who by great scott is a legendary film auteur, should have canceled his "counseling" plans in helming this picture; this just might be the worst directorial effort in Scott's career. Ridley, believe it or not, but it's true. This atrocious movie stars Michael Fassbender as a (yea, you guessed it) a counselor lawyer who gets involved with some shady dealings involving luxurious diamonds, a Mexican cartel, and a nasty-looking murdering instrument. It's so ridiculous how everyone called our leading protagonist Counselor and not by his real name; It did not add any mystery to the character just some bad old formulaic tactic. The movie co-stars Javier Bardem as Reiner, a conniving businessman whose electric-follicle look reminds me of Young Einstein's cerebrally-challenged uncle. Cameron Diaz also gets into the counseling scene with her role as Malkina; Reiner's lady-friend who might or might not have some bad teaching up her sleeve to the counselor and many others. Penelope Cruz, Bardem's real life wife, also pops in here as the Counselor's girlfriend Laura. Brad Pitt, yes that Brad Pitt, is in the supporting plan also playing Westray, a west-end urban cowboy who ends up in one of the most outlandish gruesome gore scenes I have seen in a movie, and I mean that in a "pitiful" way; sorry Brad. Yes, these are all well-acclaimed actors who have shown their thespian worth, but not here. However, to give them the benefit of the doubt, they were all entrapped with a profoundly silly screenplay by Cormac McCarthy. Yes, that same McCarthy that wrote the great book "No Country for Old Men". Unfortunately, McCarthy's scribe of "The Counselor" was not meant to entertain any old or young men; and of course women. It has to be the worst screenplay of the year! Yes, I said it! Are you gonna excuse me now of McCarthyism!!! I am still trying to figure out what "The Counselor" was all about, not because it was a cerebral challenge but because it was cinematic bore. So my good counseling "movie tip of the day" is to not seek counseling from Ridley Scott's "The Counselor".

** Needs Improvement.