Review of The Core (2003) by Fo T — 30 Aug 2010

Lets get this out of the way first: The Core is a pretty bad movie. Whether it knows this about itself or not is debatable. Whoever wrote the script (and to save that person or those people the embarrassment I will not do the research on that) must have felt there wasn't any need to verify the science behind the preposterous premise, and for that I am thankful. If these people had consulted a geologist or meteorologist and formulated a perfectly plausible scenario of world destruction than we as an audience would be required to take this movie seriously. Luckily, we don't have to, nor does it ever really ask us to.

Aaron Eckhart spearheads a team of other "scientists" and even "astronauts" who are charged with rescuing a doomed planet by drilling into our molten core to set off a nuclear explosion that will serve to get the inner juices flowing again, because this "activity" that had been "mysteriously" interrupted is responsible for producing the magnetic field that protects us from the deadliest forms of solar radiation and regulates our weather. If you don't understand any of that, don't worry, you're still better off watching the discovery channel for actual facts. This movie operates on partially informed speculation at best.

This movie begins like most disaster movies: (Run-on sentence and spoiler alert) Scientists discover the first signs of trouble, another scientist (Ekhart) verifies it, that Scientist brings it to the attention of a more renowned Scientist in the same field who also happens to be a selfish prick (Stanley Tucci)they bring it to the US President, they hold an impromptu meeting with heads of state, the egg heads explain that we are all doomed and we have very little time to build a vessel that can drill into the center of the Earth but no known element can handle the heat and pressure so they commission the aid of another Scientist who the renowned prick scientist had a falling out with, and this Scientist has discovered or created a new element called Unobtanium (That's right, Un-obtanium) that could indeed successfully shield a drilling vessel from molten temperatures and whatever else, and by the way they only have two months to build the damn thing but they manage to pull an A-Team and have it ready in the nick of time, and no team is complete without DJ Qualls as a skinny rebellious hacker who seemed to be cast as a cheap attempt to satisfy the younger demographic, and the cherry on top would be the headstrong Hillary Swank as the "astronaut" who will navigate this brave team as they SAVE THE WORLD!!!

I was fascinated at how these central actors handled their roles with a conviction usually applied to more profound material. Ekhart and company make this debacle of a movie somewhat watchable, because even while you laugh inwardly at every inch of the plot, you can't help but be impressed at how much fun the cast is having with it. The difference between this movie and, say, 2012, is that it takes its rubbish to extremes that are entertaining on a level that 2012 just couldn't nail. 2012 bogged itself down by incessant attempts to tug at the audiences heartstrings and the pacing was excruciating, but this movie is brisk and tonally consistent. Again, its a terrible movie, but its a terrible movie that I had enough fun watching not to regret the two hours spent on it. Popcorn anyone?