Review of The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (1969) by James H — 13 Apr 2009

I showed Allen [i]The Philadelphia Story[/i] not long ago. The poor thing is sadly deprived, pop culture-wise, and I consider it my sworn duty to rectify this. Of course, it's an entertaining battle of wills. Not me and Allen; Allen is willing to consign himself into my hands. However, the boys across the street have their own ideas, and a lot of theirs and mine don't coincide, even though they've borrowed movies from me to show to him. We were all in accord over [i]Citizen Kane[/i], of course, but they put [i]Ghostbusters[/i] as a far higher priority than I. (Well, of course; I haven't seen it!) I've gotten him interested in [i]The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert[/i]. I doubt this is one of their priorities at all. So. Why do I bring all this up instead of my usual tirade? Well, here's the thing. it is actually true that I saw this, several times, on the Disney Channel when I was a kid. However, thanks to having shown Allen [i]The Philadelphia Story[/i], when I hear the name "Dexter," I do not think of this Dexter, or even Dexter the serial killer. I think C. K. Dexter Haven.

At any rate, Dexter Reilly (Kurt Russell) is a student at Disney's own Medfield College. (As who in Disney movies is not?) Professor Quigley (William Shallert) is trying to convince Dean Higgins (Joe Flynn) that the college should buy a computer. (Oh, those happy days!) Dean Higgins rejects the idea, so Dexter gets a group of kids together to go see local mogul A. J. Arno (Cesar Romero!), who donates his business's old computer instead of the $20,000 he normally gives the school. As you can imagine, Dean Higgins is thrilled. At any rate, in one of those delightfully elaborate Disney set-ups, Dexter ends up bringing an important part to the computer and installing it himself. The window to the computer room has been foolishly left open, and Dexter somehow fries himself and the computer, intaking all the computer's abilities and knowledge into his own brain. Hilarity ensues. Especially because you know any character played by Cesar Romero cannot be trusted.

You know, there's a lot to be nostalgic for in this movie, even if you aren't me. There is, of course, that amazing computer. It's the first computer the school has ever bought. It pretty much takes up an entire room of its own. They got the [i]data tapes[/i] from some CalTech or JPL analogue. And, of course, it's a third-hand computer that its owner thinks is worth a $20,000 donation. Also, that part that Dexter brings in and tries to install is larger than a modern cellphone, which may well have more memory than that entire room-sized computer. These days, about the only part that size that you'd put into the computer is a DVD-ROM drive or a hard drive. Amazing, huh?

The other thing I'm kind of nostalgic for is the career path of Kurt Russell. Jodie Foster did the same sort of thing, too, but more simultaneously than Kurt Russell did. The thing is, Kurt Russell wanted to get away from his Disney image as he got older. Well, that's understandable. You can't be Dexter Reilly forever, right? However, he went off and did [i]Escape From New York[/i]. He was an action star. He's played a few unsavoury types. Even his Wyatt Earp wasn't exactly the all-pure American hero type. Heck, Jodie Foster went off to Yale! They both went off to be grown-ups, but they didn't do the drinking/drugs/knocking over liquor stores thing of other child stars. Sure, Jodie Foster had played a prostitute by then, but still. She didn't actually act like one.

There are some good parts to this. I mean, yes, the costumes are hideously dated, right along with that computer. The characters are downright indistinguishable, for the most part. I don't remember Token Black Guy's name. But although Dexter can, as a certified genius, go off and do whatever he wants to, he goes back to college. Largely because he realizes that his friends are willing to go out on a limb for him, so he goes out on a limb for them. He has his craziness, but he's a good guy. Now, it's true that you need a piece of paper to do a lot of things. But what school wouldn't give the guy the piece of paper in order to claim him as an alumnus?