Review of The Cloverfield Paradox (2018) by Gabriel B — 07 Feb 2018

The 'real' Cloverfield Paradox? Gravity! Or the complete disregard over how it works.

We're quite used to space-fibs in respect to physics but this movie is so blatantly ignoring any science principles in favour of style and spectacle that it ends up being a direct assault at our intelligence. We've seen spinning wheels to create gravity by means of centrifugal force done before and we've seen it done better. On more than one occasion we're treated to alarming views through large portholes in the walls which, upon closer inspection, should be floors - considering how centrifugal force works. Not to mention how someone would transition from a spinning wheel into a static central corridor without being cut in half or smashed against a wall is a miracle. And here's another paradox: how does the backbone of the station have gravity? If they possessed an artificial gravity technology wouldn't that entirely negate the need for spinning rings? And even when the floor is blown out and the station is hanging by a thread, so are its occupants, as there even seems to be gravity beyond the boundaries of hallways and bulkheads ... curious.

We're never really introduced to how far in the future this masterpiece is set but many hints point at a not so distant one. So it's even more baffling that in a world on the brink of war over the last remaining resources our main protagonist's husband still chooses to drive a German gas-guzzler.

It's hard to take delight in the few interesting ideas, characters and scenes that are sprinkled in between when behind every corner another inconsistency is lurking. A horror movie that gets by without any major jump-scares but its disregard of logic is still downright terrifying.

Clearly J.J. Abrams has been working on other mayor scifi franchises too much. But what do you expect from a movie that closes with - spoiler alert - the shot of a gigantic mole-rat.