Review of The Celestine Prophecy (2006) by Jennifer S — 25 Apr 2010

This DVD refused to work in both my laptop and V's laptop, finally trundling to a start on my PC with some weird noises as it went. I should have taken this as a sign and to not watch it. This is one of those movies that falls flat on its face with such a supposedly serious message that it forgets to take the time to make its characters remotely believable. Jon is the average every-man who is suddenly thrown into a world of intrigue and drama, but he has no personality to speak of whatsoever besides a vague desire to do good in the world. Well, this might be okay in real life, but not in a movie. Good thing fate comes along and sends painfully obvious side characters to intercept and help him whenever he's in a bit of trouble! Too bad that priest guy had to die after his first line in the whole film... but for all I know he could have turned out to be as boring as the rest of this film's cast had he lived. I still think he seemed too nice to die, though. Not that it really matters. It's just that the scene where everybody, including him, comes back as these weird ghost-shade obi-wan-kenobi versions of themselves near the end of the film really made me want to cry...(the fact that this is the only emotionally convincing part in the movie - and only because it struck the death nerve in me - also makes me want to cry.).

The only thing I truly liked about this movie was the jungle resort up in the mountains where everybody happily tended to the plants and saw auras. I wanted to personally spend time there. Otherwise, I felt like I was THIS close to really just not finishing the movie just because I felt perpetually bored and disappointed. Marjorie and Julia had no stage presence or personality, and Jon's interactions with them felt extremely scripted. The prophecies/insights themselves might seem novel to somebody who hasn't read anything about new age spirituality, but I've read this kind of stuff before a million times over. While I wasn't expecting something really groundbreaking, I still deep down somehow wished for something to make me go "Hmmmm". Never mind that either.

Maybe I should just be wary about these movies that promise some kind of revelation in general. I wish I knew what I know now and not watched this. Oh, well, maybe I'm paying back some karma for a sin in a past life...