Review of The Care Bears Movie (1985) by Emily S — 02 May 2007

Two young kids team up with the Care Bears to stop a gangly magician possessed by an evil book from stopping the world from caring. Each Care Bear has a different symbol on it?s stomach that goes along with it?s name (i.

E. Good Luck Bear has a shamrock on his tummy), and they stop evildoers by giving them their patented Care Bear Stare. Along the way they meet their heretofore unmentioned Care Bear Cousins, who are basically Care Bears except that they?re all elephants, lions, and sheep.

In the end, they save the world while Carole King and John Sebastian sing woefully weak ass songs that are totally beneath their talents. Seeing this in the theater back in my days of youth, I remember clearly enjoying this flick, but now watching it as a cynical adult I can?t help but see it as a crass feature length toy commercial.

I mean the sole purpose of introducing the Care Bear Cousins is to show kids the hottest new toy line. End of story. There are even two Care Bear cars, not to mention a boat that I bet all the kids in the audience were dying to have too.

I can just hear the producers now: "Gee, how can we get kids to actually PAY us to see a commercial? I know, we?ll make a movie and put in lots of new shiny toys that the kids will go nuts for!" Or perhaps there was another Care Bear behind the scenes named Merchandising Bear whose tummy crest was a big dollar sign, who churned out this crap to make a quick buck or two.

Mickey Rooney narrates it, which gives you a good idea as to what to expect, and Billie Mae Richards (none other than the voice of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer) provides the voice for Tender Heart, the leader of the Care Bears.

The Care Bears 2: A New Generation followed the next year.