Review of The Canyons (2013) by Tom S — 14 Aug 2013

The best thing about "The Canyons" is by far Lindsay Lohan. If I am correct, I believe this is the first known Kickstarter film (that was produced), Lindsay's first film since rehab and porn star James Deen's acting debut (excluding all of the straight porn he has been in).

Lindsay does a pretty good acting job given the uneven script. She tries her best and elevates each scene she is in and makes the other actors better for it. There are times that Mr. Deen is a little stiff and as the lead, he makes it difficult to get past the sterile and stiff performance. But once he has someone with acting experience behind them, he warms up a bit.

Don't be surprised at all of the nudity and and sex involved, but considering I heard there was a ton of full frontal nudity, there really isn't that much at all. You see more full frontal of the guys than the girls, but even Lindsay shows off her boobs.

What's hurting the story most is the uneven script. It's unclear what the point of the film ends up being. It's like standing in line, things are going on around you, but it feels as though you never reach the destination. Basically, Lindsay's character is dating James Deen's character. They are in an open relationship and often invite others to join them. She manages to get an ex-lover an acting job on Deen's movie. The ex-Oliver's girlfriend is Deen's assistant and he is obsessed with Lindsay's character. Add to that all the men in the film are openly willing to try anything once, there is a shady psychiatrist involved, an openly gay filmmaker, a possible closeted man, and a yoga instructor who is sleeping with both Deen and has had relations with the ex-lover. Got all that? Basically it is a microcosm and bed of sexual exploration.

It's slightly unbelievable that even in this small community, all of these people are connected and have had relations with everyone else. I know that there are certain industries and communities that are like this, but the yoga instructor connection is a bit much.

In the end, one of the characters connected to the others is dead and new relationships are formed while others end. I don't want to spoil the ending, but that's impossible because there is none.

I get that this movie was made on the cheap, but the script didn't have to be. Bret Easton Eliis has written many twisted tales in novel form, and perhaps he is best sticking with that genre. This was supposed to be Mr. Schadder's big come back but even though the director is great in scenes maneuvering around the amazing and beautiful house where it is mostly shot, the beginning restaurant scene feels as though it was filmed with one actor at a time and cut together after to make it appear as if the actors were all together at once.

If you have done any research on this film, you've probably heard about all of the troubles with this shoot. Lindsay was going through rehab/probation, James Deen was finally not doing a porn movie, Paul was trying to make a comeback as an artistic director and Mr. Ellis was trying to break into the screenwriting business plus, this was a Kickstarter film. Given all of that, I was a little more lenient on my rating. I really wanted to like this movie and hoped it would succeed, but in the end it's just blah.

The premise was better than the execution and while "it's not The Hills", it's not even the great indie it hoped to be. I am truly sorry for that because there were a lot of great things involved in this film despite all of the troubles involved. I'm sure this passion project was an experience that everyone involved will look back on and realize that they are better off for having triumphed and achieved.

"The Canyons" is not a horrible movie, but it's not that great either. I just wish they would have tied up the ending because its almost as if it is missing a 4th act....