Review of The Cabin in the Woods (2012) by Zack M — 24 Sep 2015

*There will be spoilers in this review, so if you have not seen the movie, watch it beforehand!

The Cabin in the Woods is a horror satire that was created in 2012 and directed by Drew Goddard. The film revolves around a group of five friends who travel to a remote cabin located in... wait for it... the woods, for a weekend filled with partying. The group of friends consists of the stereotypical horror movie characters found in a horror film: the athlete, Curt (portrayed by Chris Hemsworth), the whore, Jules (portrayed by Anna Hutchison), the fool, Marty (portrayed by Fran Kranz), the scholar, Holden (portrayed by Jesse Williams), and the virgin, Dana (portrayed by Kristen Connolly). What the group of friends does not know is that they all of them are a part of a sacrificial ritual that the USA offers to the "gods" every year so humanity can continue to exist and that their every move is being watched by two men, Gary and Steve.

The group is initially having a great time at the cabin until suddenly, the two men inside the control room, Gary and Steve, decide its officially time for the ritual to begin and blow open the cellar door. Located inside, there are hundreds of different knick-knack items that the group beings to look at. Each of the knick-knack items corresponds to a different monster that is located within a sort of zoo underneath the cabin. Whichever item the group of friends chooses on their own "free will" to investigate further, will result in the corresponding monster with that item to activated by the control room. That monster will then complete the ritual by killing the entire group in a certain order and hence completing the sacrifice to the gods.

Eventually, the group makes their selection and all hell breaks loose. Some of the friends die and everything is going smoothly for the operators and spectators until some of the group, Marty and Dana, manage to get inside the operating building. Once inside, the remaining members set free every monster that the building has and let them wreck havoc for revenge.

I absolutely loved the opening sequence of this movie. The humor is present in the opening seconds, as well as the satire, because the movie opens with a stereotypical, cliché jump-scare out of nowhere; a technique that most garbage horror movies use nowadays. I also love the fact that if a viewer had not seen a trailer for the film, one would assume that they were going to be watching a movie about two white collar guys trying to prevent some catastrophe from happening because that is all the information the opening sequence provides.

The satire continues when, of course, before they get to the remote cabin located in the woods, they have to stop at the one gas station that looks as if it has been abandoned for over 50 years. Low and behold, there is some old, terrifying, angry man posted up there who warns them to go back the way they came and that only danger will come to them. How many times have we seen this before?! Virtually every horror movie has a character and situation like this!

But you know, "That's the whole point. Get off the grid, right? No cell phone reception. No traffic cameras. Go someplace where they can't globally position my ass." - Marty.

Marty says exactly most horror films build themselves off of during the first ten minutes of the movie. Think Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Wrong Turn, The Evil Dead, and Friday the 13th. In all of these films, the characters end up somewhere where no one could possibly save them because they have no communication with the outside world.

Speaking of Marty, can we talk about him for a moment? The dude is straight-up one of my favorite characters in any genre of all-time. This guy tells everyone exactly how it is and does not give a damn about what anyone else thinks. His lines, actions, and facial expressions are so perfect for this movie. Fran Kranz does a phenomenal job portraying his character.

One of his best sequences comes when the whole friend group is in the basement, analyzing all of the different knick-knack items and they come across a book that contains a phrase written in Latin. Immediately, Marty shouts, "I'm drawing a line in the fucking sand here. Do not read the Latin!".

THANK YOU. This is what every horror fan wants to see! An intelligent character who knows when they should just get the hell out of the room. But, because this movie is a satire, they still end up reading the Latin and it inevitably results in the rise of the Buckner family and all of their deaths. Oh and if you had not figured it out yet, this scene is straight up making fun of The Evil Dead,.

Piggybacking off of that, one of the aspects I adore about this movie is just how funny it truly is. In the beginning of the film, Marty pulls up to meet the rest of the crew. He gets out of his car, locks his car door, checks to make sure that the door is indeed locked, but proceeds to leave the window open... Typical horror movie stupidity at its finest.

Then, in the control room when the two technicians, Gary and Steve (portrayed by Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford, respectively), are talking to Mordecai, the gas station attendant, he has the creepiest tone to his speech. It truly started to give me the chills until, all of a sudden, he randomly asks if he is on... speakerphone? Hysterical! He then tries to resume his terrifying speech only to have the two crack up laughing again because he discovers he is still on speakerphone.

Many horror films today attempt to replicate this scene by having something genuinely freaky occurring but then attempt to add in humor and they fail miserably. You simply cannot do that with a film that is truly attempting to be scary because it destroys the tone entirely. It works with The Cabin in the Woods because the movie is a satire.

Jenkins and Whitford are without a doubt the driving force behind the comedy in this movie. The two actors had such amazing chemistry with one another and every single scene the two were in, I remember laughing at least once.

Perhaps the funniest moment in this movie occurs when a merman eats Steve. The reason it is so funny is because earlier in the movie Steve tells the audience how badly he wants to see a merman in real life. To have his life come to an end by the very creature he wants to see the most...That's just utterly brilliant writing.

Another aspect that set this movie apart from others is how each character fully embraced their respective roles. There is not a single weak performance from the cast. Every actor/actress did their job and took their roles seriously.

This is a movie that could have been disastrous without the right direction from Goddard, writing from Joss Whedon, and discipline from each of the actors. A majority of the lines and sequences in this movie are hysterical and could have come off as a joke. Instead, the direction was on point and it resulted in near perfect sequences every single time.

Getting to the actual horror of this film, when this movie actually wants to scare you, it does a very good job. Goddard knew exactly what he was doing and it was slightly surprising to me because The Cabin in the Woods was his directorial debut.

When he wanted to make fun of the horror genre, he used the loud sound effects to get a guaranteed jump out of the audience (The opening title). When he wanted to show his finesse as an actual good horror director, he relied on building the tension and the scare made you catch your breath in your throat.

Goddard never once became confused with his vision and it resulted in one of the best horror movies in recent years. Fantastic job.

I was so satisfied with the ending of this movie because finally, we see two horror movie characters that simply do not give a damn anymore and are actually smart. They honestly could not care less if all of humanity is going to be killed and refuse to sacrifice themselves for the greater good.

In reality, that is probably what most of humans would do in that situation. Most people are only looking out for themselves and this movie captures that perfectly in the closing minutes.

Also, Sigourney Weaver's cameo appearance as the Director was perhaps the greatest horror movie casting decision within recent years. She has always played a badass role...Ripley anyone? And this film is no different. Being the ominous all-knowing individual that the movie makes the Director out to be, Weaver has a powerful ten minutes of screen-time and her appearance definitely aids the film.

The only complaint I have with this film is that the awesome monsters did not get enough screen time. I would have to see this movie be extended by about ten minutes in order to get more footage of them absolutely destroying everyone.

Other than that, The Cabin in the Woods is an excellent horror satire that often has the capability of being hysterical and terrifying at the same time. Filled with fantastic acting performances, Goddard's phenomenal directing, terrific writing from both Whedon and Goddard, and Fran Kranz's epic performance as Marty, The Cabin in the Woods will without a doubt become a cult classic.