Review of The Burning Bed (1984) by Max K — 23 Aug 2011

I was 14 when I first saw this and it haunted the hell out of me because it always reminded me of my first stepdad, the monstrous Phil, beatin' on my mom and me (but not to the savage degree Paul Le Mat pummels poor Farrah). Anyway, I suffered a catastrophic case of food poisoning yesterday and was filtering through the streaming Netflix options in a hallucinatory haze, and came across it once again. When you're putting an old TV movie from '84 on Netflix, it's gotta be good, right? Right! (Looks like "Lonesome Dove" might be on tap next...).

FF is so good in this, it's frightening. God, I felt for her. I just wanted to save her and I couldn't because A.) It's just a movie from the past, and B.) FF died of colon cancer in '09. So what WAS it about FF and her too few solid acting roles? And WHY did she go from being terrorized by an abusive spouse in "The Burning Bed" to being sexually assaulted by a psychotic Jimmy Russo a mere two years later in "Extremities"?? Was it all that time with Ryan? TALK TO ME, FARRAH!!! Geez.

I wanted to castrate Paul Le Mat and feed him his own manhood. I can't STAND watching women be kicked and punched. And so you say, "well, Max, how can you watch so many horror movies then?". Well, I'll tell you. As much as I wanted to believe it, as it was claimed it in the title cards, "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" was NOT based on true events. Also, let's face it, a lot of these heroines in horror films succeed in defeating their demonic predators. FF does to. In a way I thought JUST. As it turns out, I guess the real Francine Hughes wound up continuing to have a rough life long after she burned the bed. I wonder where she is now...

P.S. The great Grace Zabriskie DESTROYS as Le Mat's ignoring mommy. Richard Masur as Francine's caring lawyer rocks it, too. Where's HE nowadays???