Review of The Breakfast Club (1985) by Diego T — 17 Feb 2014

Aaargh! Why did I post a 9/10 review for this movie before thinking about it more? I had to rely on JED of all people to talk some sense into me! Fuck. Well, that just goes to show you how easily movies like The Breakfast Club can sway an audience. Sentimentality is the one thing I almost never excuse in a movie, but for this film, I'll make a happy exception. Because although this movie is pretty manipulative at times, it's also gut-bustingly funny, true to life, and features a great quintet of performances. Maybe it's just because I'm in high school, and I know people like these characters, but this movie struck a chord with me. And no, not in the way that Hugo and Up "struck a chord" with reviewers-- I mean in a good, unsentimental, non-anus-of-cinema way.

The Breakfast Club is the story of one day of detention for five students, who (as the poster so eloquently puts it) have nothing in common except each other. They are, in descending order of popularity, The Princess, The Athlete, The Criminal, The Brain, and The Basket Case. I'm not going to refer to them by name, because that would just get confusing, and really, these one-word descriptions are all you need to know about them. Now of course, if a character can be summed up that easily, how can they have any depth? Well, if a movie had been made about any of these people individually, it would have been a stunning failure of epic proportions. But what makes The Breakfast Club so great is the way these personalities bounce off each other.

You could write whole essays detailing the ins and outs of a high school, but for those of you who think that this movie is too much of a cliche, take it from me: This is more or less how it works. I could go through and name dozens of people who fit each of these personalities perfectly. What really began to scare me was that I started recognizing a lot of the dialogue in this movie from conversations I had in real life... yeek. That's mildly unsettling. But that's not a bad thing. When a person watches a performance, and slowly begins to realize that it's about them, it's a pretty intense moment. (Fun fact: The Germans, of course, have a word for this-- "verfremdungseffekt." I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.).

But barring all pretentiousness, this movie really is funny as hell. Its serious moments are sliced through perfectly by well-written dialogue, jokes, and realistic banter. There are single shots that will stick with me for some time, especially the toilet seat cover sticking out of the principal's pants and the bologna flopping onto the statue. And fortunately, the film doesn't try to have any deeper meaning instilled in it past "Fuck it." At least, that's what I took away from it (I'm sure you can see it any number of ways, given your state of mind), but it presented a nihilistic view of the world, and even better, a realistic one. "When you grow up, your heart dies." Sadly, I tend to agree. And when the personification of this concept is sitting right in the other room, how could they not come to this conclusion? Also: Weed jokes are funny.

This movie has its fair share of flaws, the most glaringly obvious being that Brian (every geek in every movie ever is named Brian) doesn't end up with a girl. Oops... guess we kind of missed the point on that one. And really? He tried to kill himself over a lamp that didn't work? Nrd pls. Plus, the Athlete doesn't fall for the Basket Case until she gets a makeover, and she was way more attractive beforehand, if I may weigh in. Also, a makeover? Eew. This isn't Warm Bodies, for fuck's sake. But for the most part, the movie is strong, and delivers laughs and dramatic moments in equal measure. Some people (and by "some people," I mean Jed) have said that it's not very believable that the Criminal ends up with the Princess, as he was a dick to her all day... but hell, that's been known to happen.

Final Score for The Breakfast Club: 8/10 stars. Jesus, this is a really somber review. I feel like I just went into great dramatic detail about the subtle meanings and social undertones of The Breakfast Club, of all things. But truly, this is one of the funniest and most heartbreakingly (no offense Leo) honest movies about high school ever put to film, definitely deserving of a rewatch, if for no other reason than to figure out why the fuck it's called The Breakfast Club. So it's because they were all dropped off around breakfast? That doesn't make any sense.