Review of The Blair Witch Project (1999) by Sam H — 04 Oct 2012

Come to think of it, it is a really neat idea to have this all filmed in first-person like a documentary or something, I hope they don't overuse it. Oh, those poor suckers in 1999 had no idea what was about to happen, admittedly ten years later, after "Paranormal Activity" came along, but was still on its way. Yes people, we now come to the film that started it all, and I can think of plenty of people who wish they had put it down when they had a chance, not necessarily because plenty of people wish that the found footage craze never came along, because, come on, we had to get "Cloverfield" somehow, but because this film's hype died on its feet after a while. Hey, I don't know about y'all, but, yeah, I pretty much agree that this film isn't as good as many people said it was a couple of years ago, but hey, I felt myself slipping into the heat of the tension, though that might just be some kind of natural connection with this Michael C. Williams dude, seeing as how we have the same birthday... or do we? This film is so enwrapped with so much mystery, suspense and intrigue that I don't know what to believe anymore; but enough about a better psychological horror film. No, but seriously though, about the only reason why I'm having trouble discerning reality from fiction is because this film doesn't make for the most convincing faux documentary, nor all that especially watchable of a film to begin with, which isn't to say that this film is ever bad, not just because it's too mediocre to be bad, but because it's not like it's not without a few undeniable strengths, or if nothing else, commendable ambitions.

The overall story - such as it is - premise of three people falling apart as evil forces ensue upon them during their entrapment in an isolated environment isn't particularly unique, yet the concept does have a certain level of intrigue to it that immediately carries over into this film, maybe not enough to save it enough from mediocrity, but enough to keep it from getting tedious, and it helps that the defining theme behind this not so unique premise is anything but not unique. Regardless of how some make it seem, this film was not at all the first big found footage film, yet it was certainly something of a pioneer of the genre as we now know it, and you can say what you want about the genre, because lord knows I have a thing or two to say about it, but at the end of the day, it's still a pretty neat idea, and is just that here, because although this story is lacking in the way of originality, its found footage, first-person perspective style breathes into a bit more uniqueness, and with that uniqueness, more intrigue. Now, as I'll touch more upon later, all of this intrigue goes undercut quite tremendously by the natural flaws within the found footage format, among many other things, yet there is still enough in there to keep the film from getting too disengaging, with a bit of help coming from those in front of and, quite literally, directly behind the camera. Now, don't get me wrong, while I don't find the performances as underwhelming as many say, our leads' performances are no better than decent, partially because not much material is provided, with what material that is provided going undercut by obnoxiousness (Good screams and anxious heavy breathing, but seriously, do these people seriously have to be doing it this often?), yet the fact of the matter is that our performers do keep things going to one degree or another, whether it be with charisma or emotional range and even a few layers. Again, the performances aren't especially upstanding, yet at least there's something of a consistent bite to them, and that, all but alone, produces a kind of atmosphere that leaves you to bond with this environment and stick with the characters this film would be, in every sense of the word, nothing without. Yes people, with all of this film's faults - of which, there are oh so many - that I'm about to touch upon, it has its share of strengths that keep it from descending too low, yet neither do they carry it too far. I've my share of compliments to throw at the film, yet when it's all said and done, those strengths go undercut by what this film gets wrong, to where the only thing that I can think of that truly saves this film and makes it not too difficult of a watch is simply its being just too mediocre and bland for its own good, even when it comes to the unique theme.

See, you found footage kids nowadays - who are only ten years younger than this film's generation of found footage kids - don't realize how relatively good you've got it, what with all of your special effects, and HD cameras that your regular Joe Schmo of a wanna be documentariant isn't likely to pick up so easily, and whatnot, because with this film, they really do go all out with presenting this film like an amateurishly shot casual production, to where it both adds and detracts from the film's intrigue, for although this format graces this film with some uniqueness, it also knocks you out of the film. Sure, there's more atmosphere to this film then there are in other films on this level of over-realistic, yet not enough to dissipate considerable blandness that dilutes your ability to fully buy into this film as its own world, and it doesn't help that Heather Donahue's... well, Heather Donahue character's keeping the camera going is nothing short of farfetched. Donahue can go on and on with all of her, "It's all I have left" bull, but really, it's hard to not agree with Donahue's castmates when they tell her time and again to turn the stupid camera off, as the only excuse for this film's excessive filming that I can think of is the fact that there wouldn't be much of a story if Donahue were to just turn off the camera, and even then, it's not like there's too much of a story to begin with, because, ladies and gentlemen, when you get down to it, the real problem with the film is that it is all but devoid of narrative structure, simply drifting along with no rise or fall, just reasonably well-played yet obnoxious people doing whatever for 80 minutes, and believe me, that gets old quite fast in this paceless film. The film is exceedingly repetitious, with no real momentum, and never really seems to go anywhere, which would be easier to forgive were it not for the fact that this film isn't even all that effective of a horror film, for although there is a certain aura of uneasiness within the atmosphere, nothing scary happens, for there is so very little in the way of true consequential conflict, and what few conflictory events that are present within the film fall flat. I kid not when I say that it wasn't very long at all into this film's body before - even with all of the ineffective "creepy" happenings - I completely forgot about this film's titular antagonist, and even true conflict altogether, or at least not until the end, where things pick up for a moment so brief it's borderline amusing, because when things finally go down, it can't be but, like, not even ten minutes before things really do go down, to a crowbarred cop-out of non-ending that is, if you even want to call it that, seeing as how a cop-out ending insuinates that there was both, or at least either compellingness or plot within this film. There is no real plot to the film, and certainly not enough compensation for that, only a lack of conflict and structure, as well as an abundance of repetition, to where the film is rendered so bland that about the only reason why this film isn't bad is because it never has the guts to be bland, yet doesn't fall short in providing a certain charm to its mediocrity. Still, make no mistake, this is a very mediocre film at the end of the day, with literally nothing to turn you, or at least me, off, yet still also nothing rewarding at the same time, thus making for a forgettably superfluous final product that does indeed let you know what we're in for with the found footage "horror" genre.

In the cop-out of an end, the film's story premise - however limited and uninventive it may be - has a certain intrigue to it, intensified by a unique style and a trio of, albeit obnoxiously written, yet reasonably charming and, at times, pretty decent performances, thus securing the film from a descent beneath contempt, established by a certain charm to the film's mediocrity, which, at the same time, is why this film falls so flat, for although the film isn't tedious, its themes are distancingly bland, though not as much as the narrative, - such as it is - which is so structureless, and by extension, pacelessly repetitious, and so devoid of scares, as well as even short on conflict for that matter, that it creates an intensely bland plotlessness that never abates and ultimately leaves "The Blair Witch Project" to fall flat as a forgettably undrewarding misfire with nothing to hate, but nothing to embrace, just ceasless pure mediocrity.

2/5 - Medicore.