Review of The Benchwarmers (2006) by Matthew P — 20 May 2011

The Benchwarmers is a film for those people who never got to play sports, because they were stuck on the bench by their teammates and coaches. Or at least, that's what the people in the film want you to believe. That's what the main players are told when they agree to enter a tournament against little league baseball players. Of course, these people are all in their late 30's, meaning that it shouldn't be a difficult challenge for them to win. However, there are only three players, and two of them are terrible.

These players consist of Rob Schneider, David Spade and Jon Heder. Schneider is the only good player, hitting a home run on nearly every pitch. Spade and Heder are both nerds who had never played baseball before, but decide to go along with the idea after they play a game of pick-up with Schneider. The man organizing this event is a billionaire played by Jon Lovitz. He calls the tournament a "round robin" but that must be a mistake because the games are played elimination-style. Chalk this up to not knowing the sport of baseball well.

Also proving the director's or the players' lack of knowledge is shown when the games are actually played. At the beginning, the only player to get a hit is Schneider's character. Neither of the other two could put a ball in play. If this situation came up in real life, an intentional walk would have solved this problem every time. Walk Schneider as soon as you can, and then proceed to strike out the other two players until the inning is over. Rinse and repeat. Had the team been required to overcome an obstacle like that, I might have been impressed.

I'll give the film credit in that the ending came in a way I didn't expect. No, it's not going to surprise you with a late dark turn or something like that, but instead will make you feel good. But it probably won't be in the way you expect it to, which is something to the film's credit. The ending is heartfelt and did make me feel good about the film and its message -- in fact, the ending worked so well that I almost thought the previous hour of my life wasn't as much of a waste.

Unfortunately, looking back, the ending was just about the only part of the film that I liked. The rest of it was boring, wasn't funny, and had a story that was more or less non-existent. The running gags were not funny the first time, let alone the 4th, while the humor and jokes seemed like their target audience would be preschoolers. Is watching someone flatulate in another person's face funny? It certainly isn't to me.

The characters were ones that I did not believe in. In the case of Schneider, he seemed too old in order to perform many of the things he does in the film. David Spade, (someone who gets far more hate than he deserves), is about as close to a likable person as you'll get in this film, although even he tires on you. And then there's Jon Heder, who's biggest success was in Napoleon Dynamite. Here, he attempts to recapture the same eminence, trying to play roughly the same character. But it plays out like he's a bad imposter, instead of feeling like a real character. Not that Napoleon was ever not annoying.

The funniest part of the film comes from the "12-year-old" Carlos (Amaury Nolasco), who appears on one of the opposing teams. He's actually an alcoholic adult, but manages to get his way onto a little league team. His scenes are funny, and that entire game, (or what we see of it), is the most fun you'll probably end up having. He's confident in his role despite being a really goofy character, and this situation worked well. Oh yes, and Reggie Jackson makes an appearance. If the inner baseball fan in you just made your heart skip a beat, then you'll want to see the film just for that.

I suppose that in the end, The Benchwarmers wasn't a terrible film. It wasn't anywhere close to "good", and it definitely isn't worth your time, but it wasn't terrible. The ending and the payoff that comes with it almost makes the whole adventure worth it, and the cameo role given to Reggie Jackson, as well as the character of Carlos are also nice points. It's just that these moments do not last long enough, or occur often enough, in order to keep interest. The jokes throughout most of the film are unfunny, the characters are either unlikable or unbelievable, and the story may as well not exist, because it takes a very, very back seat. And of course, the filmmakers didn't seem to have a very good grasp of their subject -- baseball -- making the film feel more unrealistic than it should. Pass on this one.