Review of The Battle of Shaker Heights (2003) by Ryan S — 13 Feb 2009

After dodging this film for years (since I heard it was not filmed in my beloved city), I finally borrowed a copy from a fellow Ohioan. He was super-psyched that the location in the title was in Ohio- I am not that easily impressed.

The word for today, boys and girls, is VRAIMENT...there is none in this movie! Although Shaker Heights IS located in Ohio, a midwestern state, these characters do not bare even the most superficial resemblance to people from the area. Parents in Shaker are attempting to breed champions of society...the writers blew it when they had these children WORKING in a LOCAL SUPERMARKET. Dude, that would sooo never happen! Even if these kids were living in the Ludlow or Milverton neighborhoods of Shaker, they would not be working in service arenas, if ever at all! Please do not take me for an elitist...I simply want someone to write a film about the area, that speaks truthfully about the people from the area...that does not involve a duck.

These writers failed horribly at that. I got the same wave of nausea during the viewing of this film that I get everytime I view a film shot in SoCal, with people wearing tres SoCal bright ensembles...but they are supposed to be somewhere in NYC. As a present NYC transplant, I can assure you, future writers, that beachwear- no matter how dark the color- is not being worn at anytime in NYC. The next time anyone wants to write about Northeastern Ohioans or Ohioans in general try to research the area. Shaker- as popular cultural references go- is a country club sort of city. Think: pearls, khakis, polos and diamond studs. Rarely do people get harassed physically by bullies, because that is uncivilized. The majority of children in that area attend the private and preparatory schools in the region; some out of state.

This movie and the characters were just not Shaker Heights material. More like Strongsville, Ohio. Come on Damon and Affleck- you simply cannot just 'greenlight' anything!