Review of The Back-Up Plan (2010) by Bluescorp — 22 Sep 2010

Even though the ticket to J-Lo's 'The Back-Up Plan' was offered to me free of charge, I immediately declined. The second time it was offered, for whatever reason, it seems I was in a more agreeable mood and caved in.

Ok, it was ALWAYS going to be a bad film experience, let's be clear. But nothing, I repeat NOTHING could prepare me for the sheer, unadulterated, spine chillingly horrific scenes proffered by Alan Poul and Columbia Pictures.

I'll admit, I don't watch a large number of Hollywood films these days, much less this genre, however, I'm quite sure there cannot be any serious competition come RAZZIE® Awards time.

At the present time, Hollywood studios are producing more garbage than ever - this is widely accepted with metrics freely available. But THIS?!! Surely someone with authority, somewhere along the production line could have stood up and said 'STOP'!!

With a few strokes of the pen, the studio signed off on this mindlessly insipid, unskilfully contrived fragment of tripe. In today's market, it's conceivable that they may even recoup their costs. As for myself however, I'm forced to deal with the scars on a daily basis, both psychological and physical (I suffered a grade 4 whiplash due to high intensity, involuntary 'wincing').

I can only imagine the further damage I may have inflicted upon myself if I had remained in the theatre any longer than I did. This was without question, the longest twenty-five minutes of my life - time I might add, that I can never reclaim.

Disaster witnesses often talk about the sensation of viewing events from 'outside their body' - I now have a very real and first-hand experience of this phenomena.

May the Lord God have mercy on our souls.