Review of The Aristocrats (2005) by Noel H — 20 Dec 2009
What a complete and total waste of my not so precious time. Literally, in the grand scheme of things my time means very little to a very select few people, and yet it's downright wrong that I wasted eighty-nine of my completely useless minutes watching this film.
Pretty much anything else I would have done could have been considered time better spent. Getting kicked in the face. Picking lint out of my belly button. Throwing stones at the neighbors house. Sitting on the toilet dealing with the pain that can only come from some terribly impacted feces.
Watching Britney Spears in "Crossroads." (Okay, maybe I took it to far with that last one, but you get my point, right?) So what is the main problem with "The Aristocrats?" Well, for starters IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!! Not at all.
Not even mildly. Not even once. At no point during the course of a film that is loaded with joke after joke did I even chuckle, which is bad. I give the movie credit for having a somewhat interesting premise when you break it down to it's absolute most basic, but it is dragged out way too long.
Like a Stretch Armstrong doll, it's been pulled and stretched out to such annoyingly grotesque levels that it's become completely useless. The film isn't shot very well, it's too long, it's completely unfunny, I'm not sure how it can be looked at as anything other than a failure.
How it got so much critical acclaim is completely beyond my level of understanding.
This review of The Aristocrats (2005) was written by Noel H on 20 Dec 2009.
The Aristocrats has generally received positive reviews.
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