Review of The Apparition (2012) by Tim B — 04 Apr 2013

The Apparition did not sound promising amongst my peers. But seeing that my opinions generally differ from the norm, that hottie Ashley Greene is a favorite of mine, and being that the previews looked kind of cool.

.. I figured it wouldn't hurt to check it out. Sadly, even with no expectations from this one, it was still one of the worst viewings I've endured. I will give The Apparition this; the initial set-up of the movie was good.

They had potential to go some interesting and bold places for it, but opted for the typical, slow-paced and boring approach. Dumb moves were all over this one. Once the kids realize the house is haunted, not only to they decide to stick around, but also argue and separate over useless side subjects to be ALONE in the house! WTF? Furthermore, the involvement of the actualy 'ghost' was a HUGE rip-off of another movie to the point where I thought I was watching it (not going to ruin it by saying anything; it was The Grudge).

Add to this a narrative that didn't flow together at all (studios...), a techno score that made the scenes more lame than intriguing, and a tendency of featuring CostCo in every damn scene (?) and you get one giant mess of a horror flick.

Any development that the movie tried to make was always briefly touched upon and never brought any focus for the audience to care. Ashley Greene gives a pretty terrible performance here. I adore her, but it was obvious that her heart wasn't into it.

Girl couldn't even act scared! Sebastian Stan was the only guy to convince me in the role and actually did a very good job. Awesome, man! Tom Felton felt the need to stretch out almost every key word in his dialogue.

This is the first movie I've ever seen him in (not a Harry Potter fan... at all) and he didn't impress me. Julianna Guill was criminally underused in the role and I forgot she was in the movie after a while.

Todd Lincoln had no handle on suspense but I did appreciate some of the shots he gave off... made the movie look 'cooler' than it did to some degree. That's really all I can say. I don't dwell much on dumb moves or plot inconsistencies, but when a movie is as boring as shit, I can't help but focus on it.

The Apparition is guilty of just that. Good shots and Ashley Greene in tight clothing can't make up for a messy story, bad acting (Stan aside), stupid plot turns and one BORING ASS pace. I'm over it.

Back to Poltergeist I go!