Review of The Alamo (2004) by Craig P — 23 Jan 2005

Yeah, I couldn't think of another ball that was used in Troy so my bad. I think I'm just running out of good movies to watch as of late so I'm digging deep into my memory banks for these instant classics.

[center]Catwoman[/center].

[left]This is what probably happened when the script for this came out.[/left].

[left]Corportate douche #1 - Hey this movie sucks.[/left].

[left]Corportate douche #2 - I know, so why we doing it?[/left].

[left]Corportate douche #1 - Halle Berry has us by the nutsack.[/left].

[left]Corportate douche #2 - Ohhhh.[/left].

[left]Yeah, that's the movie. It started out decent until the cgi cat appeared. It's a pile of crap in the sense that it is supposed to be an action flim. But it is an excellent comedy. Nothing makes sense, all in the name of woman empowerment. SPOILER: Sharon Stone is the villian, with marble skin. I think that she should have been given her actual name and her evil name would be Stone :SPOILER. Watch if you need to get in a good laugh.[/left].

[center]The Alamo[/center].

[left]I don't really see why all the critics hated this one. It was just ok but it wouldn't piss anyone off, not to the point of calling it a bomb. The only real flaws are the dark night battles and the many minor plots that never fully bloom. I did like the very ending of the movie and the Mexican side of the story.[/left].

[center]Troy[/center].

[left]I tried my best with this one. I kept pulling up references to Fight Club, The Hulk, Pirates of the Carribean, and LotR. Just too many high profile actors to do a minimal acting required for a part. I would have loved for it to be based more on the Illiad, bringing into it more of mythology while keeping a real life tone to it. Fights were a little sloppy but hey, pickers can't be choosers.[/left].

[left] [/left].