Review of The Accidental Husband (2008) by Catherine D — 29 May 2011

The "love doctor", Manhattan radio show host Dr. Emma Lloyd (Uma Thurman), unwittingly breaks up the impending wedding of Queens firefighter Patrick Sullivan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan). He decides to get even with the help of the smart Indian kid living downstairs, who hacks into the wedding registry database and arranges Patrick as Emma's husband - digitally, at least. That ends up being a bit inconvenient, since she's already engaged and planning to get married - to her foppish British publisher Richard (Colin Firth). So she tracks down Mr. Sullivan at his pub hangout and ends up getting trashed (by his intention and her over-confidence) and wakes up the next morning in his apartment with her prior life destroyed and the forgotten annulment papers still unsigned. The fun continues the next morning as Patrick crashes Emma's cake tasting (which happens to include Isabella Rosselini in a cameo) and makes himself endearing by acting like a 5-year-old. Soon, to Richard's career prospects, she is required to pass off Patrick as her fiance and Richard as her brother. Now accepting her husband (officially) as her fiance (supposedly) and ignoring her fiance (in reality), Emma is taken on a journey of discovery joining Patrick's life and social circle. Now torn between her two equally unsuitable suitors, she flees back to daddy (Sam Shepard), though she judges him with the same self-righteousness she applies to her radio listeners. Richard tries to win his lady back, but who can compete with a firefighter? After all, they have those fancy keys that hold elevators. Of course, it's only after she sleeps with him that she realizes this all started as Patrick's revenge plot. In a last-ditch effort, Patrick declares his love on-air and Richard finally gives up, leaving the love doctor and her fireman to their happily ever after. Best of all, they're already married, which saves a step.

Ah, love in a New York movie - what a crock! At least it's a fairly quick, short, relatively painless film. The story goes from predictable to worse and the lead actors flounder trying to bring life to dull stereotypes of characters. What little bit of humor and originality there is comes from the Indian family who share Patrick's apartment building. Any film that makes a plot point out of Uma Thurman calling Colin Firth pudgy and falling instead for Jeffrey Dean Morgan is doomed to failure. What woman - even the most die-hard Grey's Anatomy fan - would empathize with that choice? And if there's one thing a substandard chick flick romantic comedy needs to succeed, it's the empathy of its designated audience. I, for one, will take Colin Firth now that she's done with him.

Overall, the MPAA rating probably sums it up best: PG-13 for SOME sexual content and BRIEF strong language - with not enough substance to make anything at all, really.