Review of The 15:17 to Paris (2018) by Doug M — 16 Feb 2018

This was, and I am not exaggerating, the worst movie I have ever seen. It is terrible on every level. I was expecting the acting to be pretty bad, as I was familiar with the premise. What I wasn't expecting was the extremely low quality of the technical aspects of the film.

Nothing was lit properly! The opening scene was blown out, other scenes were too dark, there were lighting adjustments within shots. It was a mess. I can't believe the Clint Eastwood let his name be put on something this terrible.

The acting was, predictably, a mess. Just because these three men are heroes (which I do believe they are!) doesn't mean they can act for shit and doesn't mean that an event that transpired over the course of about 8 minutes is capable of producing a feature-length film.

Their acting was not helped by some truly abysmal writing. Subplots were introduced and then dropped about every 15 minutes. There was very little cohesion or character development. The timeline jumps around between middle school and adulthood sloppily and without the intended emotional affect.

I can't believe the person who made Million Dollar Baby made this veritable shitshow and I can't believe that a major studio let it see the light of day.