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Last updated: 05 Jun 2026 at 11:21 UTC

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Review of by Patrick K — 14 Jun 2013

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Were I NOT the Jamie Lee Curtis slasher completist I am, there would simply be little reason to watch this wildly subpar entry in the genre. As such I am remiss to advise anyone to watch such steaming dog refuse as this under even the most pressing of circumstances.

The threadbare plot essentially is: JLC on train after prank gone bad.....victim of prank seeks vengeance.....JLC is obligatory Final Girl trope personified. What this film lacks in star power it also lacks in story, sound, pacing and watchability.

A lackluster and ultimately horrifying turn from David Copperfield as, wait for it, a fucking magician, distracts from suicidal ideation momentarily, but soon you are thinking of whether the cold embrace of death is actually as daunting as watching another Copperfield cameo-turned-shameless-self-promo.

It would be funnier if he was wearing a costume. And the killer wears a Groucho Marx mask.......so.....yeah.....

This review of Terror Train (1980) was written by on 14 Jun 2013.

Terror Train has generally received mixed reviews.

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