Review of Terror Toons (2002) by Christopher M — 01 Mar 2009

Wow, what can I say about Terror Toons other than it is total complete shit. Had I known before hand that this was distributed by the awful Brain Damage film company, I would have never even bothered. Heed my warning, Terror Toons is nothing like Who Framed Roger Rabbit or Space Jam.

There is ZERO animation in this film or anything remotely resembling cartoony other than the drawn up backgrounds, an animated computer graphic here and there, and a bevy of sound clips. The film is devoid of anything remotely realistic, and why should it be since it's about killer cartoon creatures? Anyways, nearly everyone in the film is OBVIOUSLY pushing their 30's, however these same people are cast as parents, dumb teenager, and child (or just very retarded people).

After Candy and Cindy's parents leave (keep in mind that mommy is obviously a man), Cindy starts inviting friends over for games and drinking, while Candy goes and watches cartoons with her stuffed animals.

Keep in mind that Candy acts as though she is a small child, but is actually played by pornstar Lizzie Borden who shows off her gigantic fake titties all too briefly. Again, remember, she is a child (or at least an adult with a child brain).

Anyways, these "cartoons" (which are actually men in costumes) come out of the TV and start killing everyone in various gory fashion. Thank goodness for the gore, which is probably the only redeeming quality to this film (aside from the mere seconds of Borden titties).

Also, thanks for killing off these incredibly annoying people quickly. My goodness, I never wanted a movie to end so fast in my life.