Review of Tekken (2010) by Kyle F — 15 Sep 2010

Yup, they made a Tekken flick; yup, it is a shitty adaptation, even worse than the live-action Street Fighter. I mean Kazuya was always "evil", but not in the sleazy scumbag way he's portrayed here. Why does Yoshimitsu work for Tekken Corp, all of a sudden? And what the fuck is up with the "Jacks"--aren't they meant to be Russian cyborgs instead of kendo riot police?

Still, despite those fuck-ups, several missing characters, and glaring plot emissions, it ain't actually too awful as a film (though lacking the charm of the aforementioned Street Fighter flick). It certainly delivers with the fight scenes, and the retconned storyline is serviceable, ending on a blatant sequel hook. Good to see Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa on the small screen again, effectively cosplaying as Heihachi Mishima (genuinely decent acting; charmingly awful get-up); oh...and all you pervs out there even get a PG-rated threesome involving Kazuya and the Williams sisters (no, not *those* Williams sisters)!