Review of Teeth (2008) by Elliott B — 22 Oct 2017

I was left uncomfortable and paranoid after viewing the horror film "Teeth," Not because it was terrifying and good, but because it was incoherent, poorly paced, poorly acted, and overall poorly executed.

I'm not sure where to start because it fails on every level. I guess I'll start in that the films motives are unclear. It depicts pro abstinencers as weird cult-like freaks, but everyone else as horny rapists and serial killers.

All the scares are based only in the gore of sliced dicks. None of the characters were well developed or had a single arc. The music was strange to say the least. I think the worst thing about "Teeth" is the wasted potential, if only it embraced its b-movie premise.

"Teeth" makes you question you own existence in that you are so bored and dumbfounded by the writing that you question every little thing until you reach yourself and become a depressed alcoholic who dropped his full ride at mit for a life of narcissism and self deprecation and drinking and heroin only to die alone and sad in a one bedroom apartment in upstate California.