Review of Teeth (2000) by Helen E — 02 Jul 2010

So I have a tendency to watch really random movies. I think that should be said before I say anything further about this one.

Let's just cut straight to it: her vagina has teeth. Thus the title. This obscure little independent film came out in mid 2008 and stars Jess Weixler (who looks like she could be Kate Bosworth's little sister) as Dawn, a teenage girl who devotes her life to abstinence. She's basically the poster child for all of those ridiculous "save yourself till marriage" classes and clubs and such from junior high. That is, until a whole bunch of bad things happen to her that end up revealing that she has teeth in a place that, let's face it, no one should EVER have teeth.

Ridiculous, right? Fair. You're never going to believe me when I tell you this, but despite the absolutely outrageous premise... this movie is actually really good. You probably think I'm crazy. It's cool, I understand. However, my point still stands. At least the first half of the movie, minus the very first scene, its just like any other movie about a teenage girl and her first crush. And despite everything else, the acting is really good by just about everyone in this.

I don't even know what else to say. I am baffled by how counterintuitive my reaction is. I am not sure I would actually recommend watching this one unless it is solely for the purpose of understanding what I'm thinking.

Congrats to director Mitchell Lichtenstein, though! I am successfully amused and confused...