Review of Teeth (2000) by Simeon D — 12 Oct 2010

Well, I knew I would see it someday...

"Teeth" has become somewhat of an Internet phenomenon over the last few years, earning fame and notoriety by simply describing the plot. It's a movie that is so controversial, so shocking, and so strange that it has gained cult fame over a short period of two years. It is not deserving of this fame. The only reason it has garnered the notoriety it has is because of the film's dedication to its subject matter: A toothed Vagina. That's it.

As a matter of fact, the film doesn't develop anything else other than this plot device. The characters introduced are either unlikable or male, in which case they may as well be Satan himself. As a matter of fact, the film is so blatantly sexist against men, seeing as how the main character: Dawn O'Keefe, is raped 3 times in the period of two days. The irony of her character is that she is a Christian purity activist, and is scarily pro marriage. There is a fairly dramatic scene after she is raped the first time, in which she drops her ruby purity ring into a pond, in a beautiful slow motion shot.

The film obviously does not mean to take itself seriously, often throwing up shots of ominous nuclear cooling towers in the background to remind the audience, "Oh yeah, it must be a nuclear mutation". The premise of the film is quite funny, but it's execution is not so. The film often portrays the mutilation of Dawn's victims in grotesque detail, showing several shots of severed penises lying on the ground in pools of blood.

Overall, the film tries to match the "Dark comedy" style of Edward sissorhands, setting a disturbing and unusual feature of a character, in a sunny suburban locale. The movie may by somewhat comical, but I never did find myself laughing, due to how disturbing the whole experience was. I've made it though al 6 saw movies, both Hostel films, and "The Human Centipede, all without recoiling in disgust. "Teeth" broke that streak. Watching a man have him penis bit and ripped off in extreme detail is not something I will forget anytime soon.

The acting is nothing special at all, mostly forgettable performances all around. Even the main character never really shines though. Teeth has been praised for its incredible lead role, witty writing, and original plot, and after watching it I can only really agree with the originality of the story. It's a movie about a vagina with teeth, nothing more. I wish there was something more I could say about this now-famous film but there is very little to say other than IT HAS TEEEEEETTTTHHHHHH!!!! Ow.

"Teeth" Gets 40 ominous nuclear cooling towers, out of 100.

********This review was written by "PULSE" not "Over the Rising Sun"********.