Review of Teeth (2000) by Michael V — 09 Nov 2011

This is the movie that makes a toothy B.J. look like a blessing. When I watch it, I can't help being reminded of Liquid Sky for two reasons. The first being the fact that the main characters of both films are sexually assaulted throughout the films, and their attackers meet their ends in bizarre ways.

The second is the fact that Anne Carlisle at one point in the Liquid Sky says, "This pussy has teeth.", whereas Jess Weixler's character in Teeth literally does have a pussy with teeth. Teeth is like a a frat boy's nightmare.

The assholes in this movie get everything that's coming to them, which is something I love. I think this movie is the first to ever make me grab my crotch in fear, while simultaneously routing for more.

When I first heard about Teeth I didn't know what to expect. Was it a Horror movie? A comedy? Cronenberg inspired sci-fi? Well, as it turns out, it was a little of each. It's full of twisted humor, graphic castrations, and vaginal mutations, all of which centers on the story of Dawn, an extremely cute high school virgin, who is the subject of much harassment by classmates for her beliefs about purity, and who also seems to be the target of every horny asshole in her town.

Little do these date rapists in training know what lies below the belt of this particular Jonas Brother's fan. There's no holding back in this one. I had a hard time believing that this movie was rated R due to the abundance of severed penises.

I highly recommend it to fans of perverse, offbeat horror.