Review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993) by Calum B — 15 Apr 2011
Okay, I was a fan of the first and second movie. But this one...
Okay, first off, there's NO fluid movement to the Turtles AT ALL. They look about as mechanically-enhanced as those crappy singing robots they used to have at your local Chuck E. Cheese. In several shots, you can actually SEE where the turtle mask ends and the body suit begins, thereby magically creating the illusion that this is a guy in a turtle costume. The Splinter costume/puppet/whatever is SO. BAD. In the first movie, he was nuanced and realistic, but I guess that's why the folks at Jim Henson's Creature Shop make so much. Apparently, New Line couldn't afford them anymore.
The plot is... SO ridiculous. The "writers" send the Turtles BACK IN TIME to ancient Japan(?), a place where they don't have any villains from the comics or the cartoon. Some Japanese guys switch places with them in the present to be baby-sat by Casey Jones, and fish-out-of-water hilarity ensues (HA HA HA kill me). I actually have a theory about this: I think someone dug through a bunch of crappy action movie scripts, found one that would work with the Turtles and wrote the Turtles into it. It's the only thing that makes sense to me.
And P.S. -- the "jokes" are... not.
Anyway, avoid this abomination at all costs. If it means anything to ya, it ranks near the very bottom of my Worst Movies Ever list (somewhere below The Cat In The Hat but just above Freddy Got Fingered).
This review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993) was written by Calum B on 15 Apr 2011.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III has generally received mixed reviews.
Was this review helpful?
