Review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) by Jason D — 19 Jun 2015

Nobody expects genius here, but the film fails to discern whether it should be camp or something more mainstream. The effects are half good, half bad. During action scenes the CG is splendid. But at other times the artificiality of the set (for instance when Fox's character goes to the docks early in the movie) is transparent. The flick also can't decide whether to be a PG-13 action movie or a PG movie for kids - the attitude of the characters is very childish and innocent, and the language consists of one use of "ass." Fox's character, for some reason, acts like a teenager while dealing with her adult situation as a journalist and romantic advances from a middle-aged man. There are constant asides to her attractiveness, which are done in a very "teenage" way. Added to this, the dialogue is poor and overtly expositional, and the plot is very predictable. It breaks the fourth wall several times with poorly done news reports and an underdeveloped environment. It's a poor script in most every facet. Finally the acting is universally poor. Fox and Arnett are especially bad, and Fichtner is little better, since his character is so clichéd.

Many dislike the re-imagining of the turtles present in this movie. If this is not a problem, the turtles are the best thing about the movie. Their interactions, while sometimes filled with lame puns, are vibrant and effective. Pathetically, the turtles are also the best actors. And when they go into action, the excitement provides the worthwhile part of the flick. Unfortunately, they don't appear for the first 15 minutes. But once they arrive, they can carry the entertainment for some viewers. Overall, though, it's a stinker.