Review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) by Tmntfan1980 — 09 Aug 2014

This "movie" is a mash of scenes strung together into an incoherent mess. Nothing, and I mean nothing makes sense in this movie. Shredder has absolutely no reason to hate the turtles, seriously. The plot revolves around him and a scientist (Eric Sach's) wanting to poison the city, and make money off the cure. The cure is the Turtles blood. So essentially, there's really no need for any real hate towards the turtles and their rat father, they're just ingredients to a financial gain. Sounds exciting right? (The answer is no).

Meaghan Fox's acting range is limited to three key moves 1) Out of breath (seriously, there is like 5 scenes where she's explaining things out of breath, but she wasn't running or anything) 2) Sexy (yup, you're hot, good job) 3) Shock (she seems to use this when 1 and 2 don't fit the part). The movie revolves around her too. Her co-star Will Arnett (who I usually like) delivers lines that are so bad he can't even save them with his patented over the top delivery. Are we even watching a TMNT movie?

They could remove Ninja from the title and it would make more sense, these hulking monsters overpower every enemy (except robo-Shredder) with their strength, no exciting fight scenes, just a lot of bullets, and people thrown.

Splinter acts Asian, but why, he's an American lab rat who discovered a martial arts training manual in a sewer. This is like taking karate lessons, and all of a sudden growing a Fu Man Chu, because you know Karate.

There's a total of 4 fight scenes in the movie, all of which are in darkness, and show quick glimpses of the turtles foes getting thrown around like rag dolls.

Save your money, or if you're looking for a good summer flick go see Guardians of the Galaxy.