Review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) by Kenmei — 12 Aug 2014

This wasn't as bad of a movie as I was expecting. The new look of the Turtles didn't bother me as much as it did for other people. The biggest problem I had was two-fold. With the inconsistency of the tone and with Megan Fox.

The tone of the movie stands out at first. It can't figure out if it wants to be a kids movie or something more adult-oriented. That's not to take away from the job that the guys who played the Turtles did. I think they did really well conveying each of their individual personalities and they each got around the same amount of screen time. The tone is so inconsistent though that one moment you're making a fart joke for the kids and the next you have someone get brutally killed. It happens so much throughout the entire movie you have to wonder why they thought this was a good idea.

The other problem, actually main problem, is Megan Fox. She is SO TERRIBLE in this movie it made me cringe to watch her in some scenes. She's just a horrible actress in general and she needs to stop ruining otherwise decent movies with her horrible acting skills she displays. What makes it even worse is the fact that she's pretty much the main character for 80% of the movie. It should have been called "Megan Fox! with 4 large turtle guys or something" because they focus WAY too much on her throughout the entire movie. If it had been someone playing April here, I think my score would be about 5 points higher. Instead you're forced to watch her stumble over lines all the time with a look between constipation and just general confusion on her face all the time.

This movie could have been so much more than it was but it just comes off as a cash grab in the end. It's clear they didn't respect the source material and the fact that they could never figure out what they quite wanted to do with the movie hampers the fact that the Turtles themselves were pretty neat and with a pretty good final boss fight at the end of the movie. But even Megan Fox has to ruin something cool like that too. Don't go see this movie in theaters. Wait a couple years till they bring it to Nick and watch it then cause even diehard turtles fans like myself will see this movie for what it really is: a terrible joke.