Review of Ted 2 (2015) by Realmuthaf — 13 Feb 2016

Wow, well that was truly disappointing. First of all I want to mention that I have watched the extended cut which adds around 10 minutes more of tediousness (no pun intended), and I honestly would have picked the shorter version had I known how bad and boring this movie is.

To be honest, one could tell that the ride is not going to be a fun one after having to endure the opening credits dance sequence which is strikingly reminiscent of that of the Family Guy, only it is almost 3 minutes long. Clocking at around two hours, the extended Ted 2 is full of exhausting moralizing cliché talks about how the legal system is supposed to treat everyone equally, "protagonists going somewhere" montages (and some other montages, like "protagonists prepare for a court hearing"), unmemorable dialogues, unfunny pot jokes, more unfunny jokes unrelated to pot (an added bonus is Mark Wahlberg covered in fake semen. At least I think that it's fake. Maybe.) and occasionally, about once in 40 minutes, gags that actually provoke some laughter. And those gags are not nearly hilarious enough to justify sitting through all the monotony in between.

I truly liked the first Ted. I found "A million ways to die in the west" to be inferior, but still enjoyable. This one, however, dropped the bar so low you can see the rock bottom from here, gotta hope that the trend with Seth MacFarlane's movies' quality turns around. The last line of Ted 2 is "hashtag Sh*t Happens". That is quite ironic, as it is a fairly accurate description of this movie's creation.