Review of Ted 2 (2015) by Brian S — 24 Jul 2015

Ted 2! "Déjà vu," Wahlberg's John says in one scene. Yeah, yeah. We've seen this already, when it was called Ted. Not quite so; with its celebrity non-sequiturs and greater media satire (the Fox News bit had me laughing), this one is much more like MacFarlane's Family Guy TV show than the previous film. So, a more accurate quote to describe this film would be one from the show. And so, instead of "déjà vu," I use this one from the ever-wise Glenn Quagmire. "You see, women are a lot like Saturday Night Live sketches. Lots of them are awful, some are decent, and a few are pretty good. But then there's that one - that one woman who's as amazingly perfect as 'Massive Head Wound Harry.'" In this case, bearing the same gleeful misogyny of having a baby with a football-shaped head, women are Ted 2 jokes.

With Family Guy going downhill (Peter repeatedly stabbing and gutting a beached whale with a forklift is a gag.), it makes one wonder if this is due to MacFarlane's lesser involvement in the show, as he's doing films now. Well, Ted was decent, A Million Ways was quite bad, so it's anyone's guess. The new Ted 2 is somewhere in between. Certainly, if you loved the first Ted you'd really like Ted 2. It may be a bit hard to believe that, however, as the first 20, 25 minutes or so of Ted 2 are almost devoid of laughter. Scenes, like one in a bar, for instance, end without an attempt at a joke. It feels awkwardly flat, and in desperate need of prime MacFarlane humor. But this beginning segment's saving grace is the Mel Brooks-esque musical dance number in the opening credits, which is inspired, and brings back memories of the "Brian and Stewie" episodes of Family Guy. There's even a scene of a domestic dispute between Ted and Tami-Lynn, which is humorous, not just because of an aggressive teddy bear (we've seen this in the first Ted, and it's still funny), but also due to the way it is shot. MacFarlane demonstrates care in how he wants his film to look, so much so that in this scene, with all its shaky-cam and close-up shots, it parodies the domestic drama, something quite unexpected in a film about a man-child trying to help his teddy bear gain his civil rights. But it shouldn't be unexpected. Ted 2 has been called sophomoric fun by some, though that kind of comedy was what Family Guy satirized. (Who could forget the seagull laughing at Adam Sandler movies?) I do worry that here, MacFarlane is resorting to lazier, bro pot humor, instead. I miss the offensive bite of Family Guy, with specific targets like the FCC, or mocking perceptions of stereotypes. When Ted 2 isn't lazy and tries to be offensive, it still falls flat. It's funny seeing Ted's shock of John's desperation in his massive amount of porn-watching. But what's to gain from calling trans women "guys with tits"? I guess we're supposed to laugh at Ted's fratty ignorance. By this token, it is funny when Ted compares his situation with that of Kunta Kinte on Roots, not because we agree with him, but because what is funny is his socially retarded demeanor, very much like the ever-mocked "white girl," with vocal fry and all. "Oh my god, that is sooooo me!" But at least MacFarlane does keep some of what he knows here, in all of its running gag, esoteric reference glory. Some work, some don't; a certain cameo in the beginning is arbitrary enough, but doesn't have quite as well a ring to it as the following one.

The jokes start to hit once the trifecta of Wahlberg, MacFarlane (who have great slacker chemistry), and Seyfried begins to rise. Seyfried's lawyer character tries to help Ted, and their conflicting knowledge of pop culture may make this difficult. But their common fondness for marijuana says otherwise, as they get their studies done (more or less) at such a speed that only an '80s montage could accomplish. Sure, the inevitable romance between Wahlberg and Seyfried doesn't quite work, but the threesome's endearing friendship does. Don't be surprised when Ted 2 becomes "Oscar-Nominated Ted 2," just as the first one was. MacFarlane's musical side shines once again with an original song sung by Seyfried. It's very nice and light, as are the animals that are drawn in by Seyfried's magical, Snow White, weed-induced voice. As said earlier, "women are Ted 2 jokes." It's just a shame, though that Seyfried's character is lessened to jokes about her pop culture ignorance, which doesn't produce much hilarity. The humor of not knowing why her name of Sam L. Jackson is interesting only lasts so long. Seyfried's Karen Smith from Mean Girls was dumb, but at least she had better material to sell the role.

Wahlberg himself does work as the boy John who never grew up. His exclamation of Tom Brady's "perfect spiral!" evokes the TV commercial boy who is amazed at the functionality of his toy. However, unlike the first Ted, Ted 2 is less about Wahlberg's antics and more about Ted himself. Just like in the first two Toy Story movies, the switched focus of characters does work, though I may be highballing here. Ted's ever-humorous Bahston Peter Griffin voice makes a fine accompaniment with his character's trials in court. Surely, it will be outlandish. It's almost like a Family Guy episode in and of itself; it's easy to imagine Brian the dog fighting for his own civil rights, and Ted even sings the same soulful song Brian did on the show.

The supporting cast does the best with what they're given, with a returning, still creepy Giovanni Ribisi, who wants to make millions of Teds (oy vey), as well as the always entertaining John Carroll Lynch, who gives a very earnest performance here as a Hasbro executive, and doesn't find the aforementioned character's catch phrase all that amusing. (You probably won't either, though his enthusiasm is convincing.) Where else would you see a character pretending to be from Mattel to save his ass? And that's a plus of Ted 2 - its fun, though limited, nerdy humor. What a delight it is to see Family Guy regular Patrick Warburton dressed up as a certain superhero. (I won't dare spoil it.) The fight scene that follows, though, does go on a bit too long.

All in all, Ted 2 is an average effort, not quite as good as the first. You do get some more Family Guy gags, though, with a wacky Dr. Hartman type, as well as a second Planes, Trains and Automobiles parody. Though it may not be worth your $11 (Jesus Christ) at the theater, it wouldn't hurt to get a few laughs and watch it when it comes on TV, or even some clips bound to be on YouTube. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find a "Massive Head Wound Harry" in this one; I feel that there are plenty of missed opportunities in a film about a man goofing off with his teddy bear... again.